colonic no 2

had the second colonic today. i guess it was better than the first one cause i could actually feel the water going up and down. i'm not quite sure when i'm going to have another one. i'm not entirely sure i need another one.

eating was quite good today. shredded wheat and raisins, sandwiches, weight watchers apple pie, small tin of sweetcorn, organic rice pudding, organic orange. and lots of tea.
we bought a tea pot today. we went shopping to asda and they had quite a nice one so we bought it. and it was cheap too, only £9.99. so now i can drink lots of tea.

i want to be size 8. NOW! i saw a lovely dress today and it would look so good on me if i was size 8. but no, i have to be bloody 12/14. oh i could cry.

bingeing? me?

ok so i messed up again. i was really good all day - shredded wheat for breakfast, quorn sandwiches for lunch, two oranges for tea. and i was satisfied. then i was talking about food with centi. and i thought to myself 'i fancy some food' (i wasn't hungry) and 'i still have that stuffed aubergine from yesterday, it will go off if i don't eat it today.' so i went downstairs - this was at ten pm - and got the aubergine. then i thought i'd better have it with some bread. i wanted the cheesy bun, but i thought 'nah, i'll be good, i'll have wholemeal stuff' and i made two slices of toast. i was proud i didn't give in. i ate that. that wouldn't be so bad. but then i wanted the cheesy buns. i resisted for a bit, but after a few minutes i was downstairs getting both cheesy buns (we only had two left). i started eating one and i didn't even like it. i considered putting it back in the pack, but thought mark wouldn't like it with my teethmarks in it so i continued eating it. and then i had the second one. and then i wanted chocolate. so i had celebrations. i had - let me count - 4 bounty's, 3 truffles, 1 galaxy, 8 maltesers. i mean what the fuck was i doing? i didn't even want the cheesy buns! i didn't want the chocolate! why on earth did i eat them?

it looks like i don't seem to be able to continue with my diet when i get a positive result. like, today, in the morning, i weighed 67.9kg. yes, the wished for 67's. but now, obviously, with the fucking shiloads of food, i'll weigh hundred and ten kilos tomorrow. aaaaaaargh. first it was 70 kg, then i got through it, then it was 69, now it's 68. and it doesn't matter if i weigh myself or not.

bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad me!

aubergines

first things first. weigh in results. difference from last week is in the first pair of brackets, overall difference is in the second pair.
weight: 68.1 kg (-0.7kg) (-2.5kg)
thigh: 61 cm (-1cm) (-1cm)
waist: 77 cm (0cm) (-5cm)
belly button: 87 cm (-2cm) (-5cm)

not bad. i think. if i push it, i'll be in 67's next week. which will be really good. and i'm certainly on the right way, i'm eating really well and i do my training for the run.

we went to tesco to buy some food cause as i blogged the other day i kinda didn't have anything to eat. we bought loads! all good food though. i've decided to experiment and try a new food again. i remembered a good recipe from the veggie cookbook i ordered from play a few days ago and decided to give it a go. stuffed aubergine. ok, so i've had aubergines before. but the last time i had them was two and a half years ago when i went to la tasca with nicola and it was only tapas, so it wasn't like a proper aubergine meal. whereas stuffed aubergines are as auberginey as you can get. and i have never cooked them before (aubergines in general, not just stuffed aubergines). so it is new, right? i made it and it was lovely. onion, mushrooms and red pointed pepper (which i was reluctant to buy as it looked rather spicy despite having written 'sweet' on the label.) i was only able to eat one half. it's so filling! it took ages to make though. but i think i'll have it every now and again.

tanita!

i've got new scales. that's because the old ones were fucked. yesterday, before the gym, i apparently weighed 68.8 kg. i went to the gym, ran, came home, ate an apple, drank two glasses of water, peed a lot, went to bed. i woke up in the morning to find out i weighed 69.4 kg. now, clearly, one of those figures had to be wrong. so off i went and bought new scales. tanita ones, quite pretty. only scales, no body fat monitor or anything as i never used it on the previous scales and i have a hand held one anyway. just before i went to the shops, i weighed myself. i came back about an hour and a half later and weighed myself again. and a miracle happened! i lost 0.6 kg in hour and a half. so yeah, they were fucked. these new ones won't be moved around. ever.

i had shredded wheat for breakfast today (as was suggested by the nice lady who did my colonic) and it wasn't as bad as i remembered it. i sprinkled organic raisins on it and it was actually rather nice. i've not eaten much since as i've kinda ran out of food. i don't have bread, i don't have vegetables, i don't have haggis. i guess i could make quorn with quinoa but i can't be arsed. or i could make potatoes with quorn fillets. i don't have any veggies though, it would be rather bland. i could also make a smoothie. i've not had one for a while. but guess what? i can't be arsed. good job that i've not planned to go to the gym today, cause i probably couldn't be arsed. so i'm eating dried fruit. i wanted to eat the plums, but they're not ripe yet (i bought them on saturday!) anyway, i think if i get hungry, i'll have to cook.

i have to say that i'm not sore after my fantastic 10 (TEN!) minute run yesterday. well, actually, my back is sore. post exercise sore though, not sore sore. so i'm assuming you use your back muscles to run.

also, i have to mention this, when i was shopping for my scales, i found this fantastic tea pot in selfridges. it looks like an alien, well, it's glass but there's plastic going around it and the top is an alien head. it's lovely, but, it costs £50. which is a bit too much. so i think i'll just get the one from john lewis.

the cranberry concentrate i bought in h&b last week was tested for the first time today. (ok, so i forgot i had it) i like it! i thought it would be a bit bitter, but no, it tastes like cranberry tea. lovely!

i'm not quite sure why i blogged it was weigh in day today as it clearly isn't thursday today.
weigh in day tomorrow! :)

10 min

i worked for an hour an a half today. it almost killed me. just to clarify, i wasn't moving 500 kg batches of wood from A to B. no, i was merely translating a few pages for school. it didn't kill me though. i'll do some more tomorrow.

i couldn't be bothered going to the gym today so i decided i'd go tomorrow. i had a nice evening meal with mark, watched voyager and then watched you are what you eat. after that i stepped on the scales and it wasn't so bad (more about this later). so i thought, lets go to the gym. and i went. for twenty minutes only (even if i wanted to go for longer it wouldn't have been possible as they were closing), but i've decided it's probably better if i go for 20 mins three times a week and make a habit out of it rather than go seven times a week in the first week and then stop. and anyway, as i build up my running, i'll have to stay for longer.
so, i started walking on the treadmill, after five minutes i started running (at 5mph) and it was going well. my legs were doing ok, breathing was fine. so i though, maybe i could do 7.5 minutes. and i continued running. and then i continued running after that. and yes, you guessed it, i ran for 10 minutes! breathing was getting increasingly difficult and i had to punch air for the last 30 seconds to distract myself (strangely, legs were ok this time), but i didn't give up. i ran for full ten minutes! i don't think i'll go for 15 next time, i think i'll just do a few 10 mins runs just to make sure i can survive. but it was good!

the thing about scales. i know the scales go up after i eat. i know they go down after i poo. yet, if i step on them and they don't show a desirable figure, i'm disappointed and i lose all my motivation to lose weight, i don't want to exercise ever again and all i want to eat is chocolate (not crisps, which is rather strange). but if the scales show a figure that i like, suddenly i want to exercise and eat well. mark thinks i shouldn't weigh myself five times a day (i only weighed myself once today and i normally don't weigh myself more than three times a day so i don't know what he's on about) because it makes me miserable when they go up. well maybe i shouldn't, but if i didn't this evening, i wouldn't have gone to the gym. so i don't know. maybe i should just learn to cope better when they don't go down.

i need to start drinking more. on days when i don't exercise, i don't drink at all or just a tiny bit and when i exercise i drink only a bit more. maybe if i had a tea pot (i've seen a nice glass one in john lewis), i could make tea in the morning and drink it throughout the day. cause at the moment i can't be bothered going downstairs and making tea. shame my birthday is not coming up for another six months.

weighing day tomorrow!

10k is not that far?

i'm sore. well, my legs are. i ran for five minutes and my legs are sore. how is that possible? i can do half an hour on crosstrainer on resistance 10 and i don't get sore. how come i get sore after a slow (8.05 km/h) run that lasts for five minutes? i know i'm repeating myself but i just don't understand. did i run all night while i was asleep?

i just had quorn smoked ham sandwiches. very nice. i've not had the smoked ham before and i must say it's very tasty. im getting quite good at trying out new foods. this month, quinoa, haggis, quorn smoked ham. also, i bought plums on saturday. ok, so it's not a new food, but i've not had plums for at least five years. so it is kinda new. just waiting for them to ripen. then i can eat plums all day.

the boob job. i'm starting to have doubts about it. yes, i want to have bigger boobs, but do i want to undergo an invasive surgery that i don't need (well, that bit is questionable... i don't need it need it, i won't die if i don't have it, but... ) and spend so much money on it? also, which surgeon to pick? the one in kosice would be most convenient and the pictures on his website show he's good. then, the one in bratislava. not so convenient, i'd have to go there at least four times and would have to stay at my uncle's every time. also, he sounds a bit abrupt in his emails. and i've not seen any pictures of his work even though he's supposed to be really good. though, who says that he's really good? a writer who no one knows real name of. so hmmmm...

gym and haggis

i really coudln't be bothered going to the gym today. and i thought i wouldn't go. but then i thought about how everyone knows i'm supposed to be able to run 10k at the end of may and thought i'd better go even if it's just for 20 minutes. and so i went. i didn't feel athletic or on the ball at all. i started with five minutes paced walk and started running (slow run) after five minutes. ran for five and then started walking again. strange thing was, i could keep up with my breathing, yet my legs were getting really weak. i thought it would be other way round. i was just about to get cramps in my left leg when i was walking after the run, but i always repositioned my leg and didn't get the cramp. was annoying though. not sure how it could have been prevented, i had a warm up. after twenty minutes, i've had enough and was glad to go home. i'll have a day off tomorrow and will try and do another twenty minute session on tuesday.

i had haggis for the first time today! vegetarian, of course, but haggis nontheless. with potatoes. and a gherkin (just one cause i ran out.) it was very nice. it's like jaternica, just a bit more spicy. i think i'll be eating it every now and then. i'll also have to find barley groats and make soup or something cause i like them.

colonic

i had it done! it wasn't bad either. you feel like there's something stuck in your arse all the time (well, because there is) and every now and then you feel like you're gonna shit yourself, but it wasn't unpleasant or painful. i'm very glad i went because there were solid bits coming out of me and that means i have a blockage. i'm gonna have another one done next saturday. we talked about my diet a bit as well and the lady recommended i eat solid fruit for breakfast rather than a smoothie so i have some roughage. i can still have a smoothie as a snack or something.
it's quite a nice clinique. they do botox and lips and everything. they also remove thread veins. i might consider having this done after i've lost weight as i have these on my legs. see how much it is first. the boob job has a priority though.

i had four bloody apple cakes today. just because i could. i didn't crave them, but we were shopping and they had them and because i craved them yesterday, i bought them and ate all four of them (it was a pack of four) in the car on the way home. was quite upset afterwards, but it's ok. i'm not going to do it again. apart from them, i bought lots of fruit. i also bought plums, i've not had plums for about five years so it's all exciting.

but, the good new is i weighed 67.8 kg at one point today (after the colonic) and that made me happy, because i'm in the 67's! that's the lightest i've been in the past year. which is exciting. i'll go to the gym tomorrow. just some light exercise, not gonna bust my arse. i think i'll try to run and see if i can run for ten minutes. if not, i'll run for as long as i can.

getting fit?

i'm going to have colonic irrigation tomorrow. i'm a bit scared, but i've done my research and it's not gonna hurt and you're covered up and everything. also, the lady who's going to do it is in the guild so she's properly trained. which i'm glad about. anyway, apparently people carry 7-25 pounds of shit (not literally) in the colon. i bet i carry at least 10. not pooing properly for pretty much all my life and eating shit most of my life must have done something. it's nice to know i'm going to get rid of some of it tomorrow. i'm wondering how many treatments i'll need. i'm scared i'll find out that i'm really polluted. but even if i do, at least i know i can do something about it. although it will cost me.

when i started this blog, its main purpose was to monitor my progress as i increase my fitness levels. the goal was to be able to run 10k in may. it's almost end of january now and i've not even started running yet. i need to get my arse back to the gym. yes, i want to lose weight. yes, i want to be thin again. but i really want to be fit. i can't run upstairs without gasping for air for the next ten minutes. what's that about? it's more important to be healthy than to be thin. i'll start going three times a week. that's good for a start. i think. i'll see how it goes and adjust accordingly.

i had some chocolate today. and not even the 70% cocoa stuff. i'm not going to beat myself up. i can eat chocolate. i can eat anything i want. if i eat healthy most of the time and crave chocolate, why shouldn't i have it? if i want these changes to be permanent, i can't restrict myself too much or one day i'll say fuck it and stop doing it. i also crave apple pastry and would really love some. we're going to tesco tomorrow. if i still crave it, i'll get some. i will think hard though - will i want to pollute my freshly cleaned colon with shit?

i also made a lovely bean soup today. it took two bloody hours for the beans to cook but it was well worth it. mark is still eating healthy which makes me proud. i'm trying to think of things he could eat as i don't want him to eat the same stuff every day. i think i'm doing well so far. and i really enjoy to cook for him. i can do it now, i'm at home all day and i don't find it difficult at the moment.

good news from yvonne today, dr. thomas is supportive of me getting a free bus pass so wahey! i just need to get a copy of my prescription on wednesday and yvonne can send it off. and hopefully i'll get a bus pass soon. i don't know what i'll do with it, but it's always good to be mobile.

yesterday, i got an email from maxim's friend, a plastic surgeon. i've decided i definitely want to have the boobs done, especially after i saw myself (repeatedly) in the gym's mirror when i had a sports bra on. also, i think my boobs are shrinking. i emailed him asking how much time does it require and that i'll probably come in the summer. that would be ideal cause they wouldn't need me in school during summer, i could get fitter (cause i won't be able to do any exercise for 6 weeks after the surgery) and lose some weight by then. and save money. so i think i'll start putting the school paychecks into my isa and save up that way. i'll have to check with mark first. it's exciting but scary at the same time.

london and a day at work (14 + 15)

was in london yesterday so couldn't update. this is what i ate:
two oatcakes with organic strawberry jam and organic banana slices
two sandwiches - organic bread, organic spread, quorn chicken deli slices, organic qherkins
handful of nuts - almonds, cashew nuts and brazil nuts mix - all organic
organic apple
organic banana

today was my first day at work. don't know how much work i'm going to do there, but the first ever time was good and i think i'll enjoy going back there. have heaps to translate.

food:
two slices of organic toast (have the small bread now)
handful of nuts - almonds, cashew nuts and brazil nuts mix - all organic
three scrambled eggs with mushrooms, quorn chicken deli slices, two slices of toasted bread and gherkins - all organic apart from quorn
two rows of 70% cocoa organic chocolate

i also weighed and measured myself today. not very good
68.8 kg (+0.2)
waist: 77cm (same)
belly button: 89 cm (+2cm) - this is not a surprise as i was bloated like a goat (dunno if this is a saying, but goats get bloated - i've heard them fart a lot) all day yesterday
thigh: 62 cm

day 13 yummy food

don't ever shave your armpits without a shaving gel. even if the hair is really short. or it will hurt. mine does.

nige said i can eat 70%+ cocoa chocolate. good to know.

london tomorrow. will have to buy healthy food for the journey and the whole day.

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i was watching you are what you eat now. made me kinda guilty i didn't do any exercise. but i needed a break. i'll get my ass back into the gym this weekend. london tomorrow, so i can't go and crazy day on thursday as i'm going to school and the healthy living group straight after that, i'll probably won't have the energy especially after much less sleep than i'm used to.

i went to h & b and bought some fantastic things. organic brazil nuts. lentils. beans for soup. concentrated cranberry juice - i've been after this for ages. vegetarian green tea capsules. fantastic, i'm very pleased. i also managed to get vegetarian haggis - in selfridges! i was rather surprised to find it there as selfridges are not the most vegetarian friendly place, but there it was! they also had hard tofu, will try it out and see what it's like.

food:
two organic bananas
two tablespoons linseed
stir fry - olive oil, quorn pieces, thai veg, organic quinoa
cashew nuts
sunflower seeds
mug of organic hot chocolate
organic apple
organic kiwi

day 12 - back on track

i went a bit crazy with the food last night. i was really really hungry and i told myself i couldn't eat anything else because i had my three portions of food for the day. and i was going to stick to it. then mark wanted food so we went downstairs and there were the cheesy buns. i had one. then i had the second one. i was still hungry. mark left half a plate of pasta and gave it to me. upstairs, i ate two oranges.
then i fought mark to get my hands on a cinnamon swirl. i won. i had the cinnamon swirl. and that was what i needed all along. so now i've decided that i can have a treat every two weeks. i think if i had the cinnamon swirl straight away, i wouldn't have all the cheesy buns and pasta. ah well. will know for the next time.

also, we made a deal with mark last night. i'll stick to my diet for twelve weeks, he'll eat healthy food for twelve weeks. so now it's not just my health but his as well. what did i let myself into? i'll have to be really good then.

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now i feel really upset that i ate so much food last night. i can't even stay on the diet for more than ten days. if i only went to sleep instead of going upstairs.

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i'm unhappy today. i can't be bothered doing anything. i cooked my lunch but that's it. i can't be bothered going to the gym. but i know that i have to because i need to do my paced walk today and if i don't then i'll be off the training for the 10k run. i want to cry. i don't want to go! and my mother's lost 1.8kg without even trying. it makes me sick. she eats cake (7 pieces to be precise) instead of a proper tea (which is a piece of fruit in my case) and she still loses 1.8 kg. why do i have the shittiest body on the planet?

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nige from the bbc forum's given me new hope. apparently i'm lacking omega-3, so i need to eat 25 g of linseed a day (that's about two tablespoons) and i'll poo! i also need to eat seeds and nuts to keep omega-3 and omega-6 in balance. and, i need to eat sat and mono fats too! i'm not sure where you get these from, i'm hoping chocolate. but, the good thing is, if i poo, i'll lose weight!
mark's bought me linseed, keshew nuts, almonds, pumpkin seeds and sunflower seeds, all organic i was well chuffed and i'm going to eat them every day! watch me poo! (not literally)

food:
two organic bananas
3 eggs scrambled with mushrooms (all organic apart from the oil) on two oatcakes with organic gherkins
mixed fruit smoothie (all organic apart from the fruit)
two organic oranges
two tablespoons of linseeds
some keshew nuts
some sunflower seeds

exercise:
decided to give gym a miss today. i might go tomorrow.

day 11

ok, i weighed myself today. after lunch. it said 68.6 which threw me a little but i guess it's been just three days since thursday and only two workouts and i just ate two apples, so it will probably be 68.2 kg tomorrow morning so it's not bad. at least i've not put on any. i wanted to see 67 on the scales though. soon. i've not pooed since tuesday. how am i supposed to lose weight when i don't poo?

i tried the baked apples with honey, raisins and cinnamon today. they were very nice, but a bit sweet. mark ate one though which is always a good thing.

i'm using organic unrefined sugar in my smoothies instead of splenda now. i know sugar's no good, but i don't use loads and it's natural, not artificial.

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it's half past eight and i'm getting a bit hungry. i can't eat anything else today. i want chocolate and i want doritos with dip and fried rice and noodles and chocolate and cake and a mars bar. and snickers. and milky ways. and fried cheese. and white bread. i could cry. why why why can mark eat three pizzas per day and not put on any weight and be still underweight and i can't even have two slices of toast instead of one without putting on weight? it's so unfair.

food:
1 oatcake with organic strawberry jam
half glass of orange juice
2 baked apples with honey, raisins and cinnamon - all organic apart from the cinnamon
mixed fruit smoothie - all organic apart from the fruit
2 cheesy buns
half a plate of pasta made with vegetable oxo cube
2 organic oranges
1 cinnamon swirl

exercise:
rest day

day 10

i didn't weigh myself this morning! i even resisted the temptation to measure myself instead. i want it to be a surprise on thursday. i like surprises.

i chose a reward for the current mini goal. when i reach 66.6kg (that is a bit evil, isn't it?), i'll get benefit bathina gettin' steamy body wash. it's quite expensive - £18.50, but you get 480ml which should last me for ages. but i deserve it and it will make the showers more bearable cause i hate showers. the only thing i'm worried about is that i'll run out of shower gel before i reach the mini goal.
oooh and i used my scrub (reward for the first mini goal) for the first time yesterday and it was lovely! my skin feels really soft. now i just have to make sure i'll use it once a week.

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quinoa is lovely! i made a quorn pieces, thai veg and quinoa stir fry and it was very very tasty! i'll be making it again.

been to boots and decided to get sanctuary shower gel instead of the benefit one. i had the sanctuary one before and it's well nice and it costs £4.50 which is much better. maybe i can have another thing too? also, they had the scrub that i originally wanted. ah well. i'll just have to use up the one i've got. it's nice too anyway.

we bought lots of healthy food in tesco, lots of fresh fruit and vegetables and i've discovered oat cakes that look like pancakes. 120 kcal per oatcake is not bad at all so i'll have two of them with jam for lunch on monday. the only unhealthy items were cinnamon swirls and chocolate bars - and they were both for mark.

i still haven't weighed myself. i'm itching though. i would very much like to know how much i weigh. but i won't cause i said i wouldn't. there.

food:
mixed fruit smoothie
quorn pieces, thai veg and organic quinoa stir fry
organic orange
organic apple

exercise
20 mins paced walk
30 mins crosstrainer
posture exercises - 5 reps
stretches
542 kcal

day 9

i had a lovely strawberry smoothie this morning. i was impressed with myself as i managed to make exactly one perfect glass, nothing more, nothing less. and it was lovely. possibly could add a bit more splenda, but it was nice anyway. i know splenda doesn't do me any good, but i can't do without. better than sugar, anyway. the blender i have here is less powerful than the one i have in slovakia so it takes it longer to crush the frozen fruit. but i don't really care as it's much easier to clean and you don't have to take it to bits.

i've decided i won't weigh myself every bloody day! i'll weigh myself on thursdays and that will be it! it's funny how when i'm losing weight, i want to step on scales five times a day (but usually do just three times) and when i'm putting on weight i don't want to see the scales at all. well, once a week from now on!

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i was doing the resistance training in the gym today. it was ok, but i'll probably be sore tomorrow. i saw this guy who used to come to my taekwondo class ages ago and he wasn't fit then. now he was effortlessly running, not jogging, running (!) on the treadmill. i didn't want to look like a stalker, so i don't know how long he was on the treadmill, but he looked like he could stay on it for hours. if he can get fit, i can too!

and i won't weigh myself tomorrow!

food:
strawberry smoothie
spagetti with ketchup - all organic
organic apple

exercise:
viv's resistance programme - 10 reps
burnt 322 kcal

day 8 - weigh in

weigh in!
weight: 68.6 kg (-2kg)
thigh: 62 cm (same)
waist: 77 cm (-5cm)
belly button: 87 cm (-5cm)

i'm very pleased :) first mini goal reached in a week and overall 10 cm loss. nice. let's keep it up!

mark didn't know what to eat last night so we went to asda. i was a bit tempted there. jaffa cakes were on buy one get one free offer and i love jaffa cakes! and, guylian was discounted as well! i love guylian! i tried my 'maybe we could buy it and i'd eat one a day' but mark knows better so he refused to buy it.
anyway, i was thinking that i really want to give my body proper food and i don't want to mess it up with even a bit of chocolate. but, they had quinoa so i'll have it maybe on saturday or maybe tomorrow. that's supposed to be good!
i also bought Slimming magazine and it has diet planner 2006 with it. it looks like a diary, but days are divided into 'breakfast, lunch, dinner, kcal/fat' so i'm just going to use the kcal/fat column as exercise column as i don't count stupid calories. and in march, i'll take it to the gp and say hey! look at this! and i'm still not pooing!

it's my rest day today but i'm going to the healthy living group and i have to walk there and back, so that will be about 50 minutes walk. and the sun is shining so i can sport my oakleys! yay!

i tried the typing software. it's good, most of the time i type 60 wpm, sometimes 100 but i make mistakes - 6%. and, i can't type fast when there is a capital letter. which makes sense since i don't use them. so i'll have to train myself. there's a certificate you can print out at the end of the course. that's nice :)

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i have new fitness outfit! well, only the trousers, but still. champion ones. from costco. they look really nice. i needed new ones cause i used my old pair for horse riding and they had holes in them which my mom did sew together, but still. they were falling appart.
we also bought this fantastic frozen fruit. a box of frozen raspberries. and a bag of mixed fruit - peaches, pineapple, grapes and something else. so i'm going to make smoothies. how exciting! i'm very pleased.

eating:
one slice toasted bread with cottage cheese and red pepper - all organic
three scrambled eggs with mushrooms with one slice of toasted bread (no spread) and cherry tomatoes - all organic apart from olive oil
organic orange
smoothie (1 1/2 glass)
cheesy bun
ok, maybe i sabbotaged my diet a little bit here but i didn't eat anything essentially bad, it's just that i ate more than usual and at the wrong time of the day

exercise:
rest day

day 7 - first mini goal reached

i'm 68.6 kg!!!!!!!!!!!! and it was flickering between 68.4 and 68.6! i know it's not my official weighing day today, but am i going out for lunch to get my mozzarella and tomato salad? oh yes! am i going to buy my exfoliator? oh yes! grr, i sound like churchill and i hate those adverts...

anyway, 66.6 kg is the next mini goal. i'm not quite sure what reward i want, but there's still time.

happy happy happy

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weird thing happened today in the gym. i was on the treadmill, walking and after like ten minutes i had a look at the heartrate monitor watch and it said my heart rate was 120. normally, it's 150 when i do that. i was walking at the same speed, even slightly faster, i was sweating, i couldn't walk any faster because i would have to run. so i though, well done, it must mean i'm getting fitter. the fitness must have been inside me all the time because it only took 4 visits to the gym for it to emerge. and i felt proud. then i thought - what if my heartrate monitor belt isn't on properly? and it wasn't. it was a bit loose so it slipped down. i adjusted it and the heartrate shot up to 170. i guess i'll have to work out for a bit longer to get fit. anyway, this will show up on the calories i've burnt as it will be slightly lower.

we went to frankie and benny's and i had the tomato and mozzarella salad and ciabatta bread with butter. it was nice, but i kept thinking 'how much fat is in this mozzarella?' there were just three slices, but still. i enjoyed it nevertheless. and, i drank half a litre of water. mark had a nice pizza and a fantastic dessert (i had it once before). i wasn't tempted one bit. i just busted my ass in the gym, why would i want to undo all the good work for something i can taste for about five minutes? no no no!
then we went to boots and i bought my scrub, they didn't have the one i wanted (well, they did, but only in a set with things i didn't want) so i bought a different one. smells nice, hopefully will be nice. i also bought a new puff. i wanted to buy quinoa cause all the people on the bbc forum go on about how great it is and andrew said it was really nice as well so i thought i'd try it but it was nowhere to be seen in holland and barretts. maybe next time. and, i bought pens (six pentel pens for £1.99, now, who wouldn't buy that???) and notecards (i desperately need some) in whsmith. and, i went to the apple shop and bought software for typing. i can type quite well, but i still make mistakes and i want to get faster. so i got rather many things for this mini goal. but that's motivating, right? or does it mean i won't get anything for the next mini goal?

we were watching you are what you eat last night. the woman lost 3 stone in 2 months! ok, so she was 18 stone to start with, but fucking hell! 3 stone in 2 months! that is trully amazing. doesn't mean i'll start eating avocadoes though, cause they're bleh. i would really like to try some quinoa though.

eating:
one slice of organic toast with organic spread
half glass of organic orange juice
frankie and benny's tomato and mozzarella salad (three slices of a large tomato, three slices of mozzarella, three green olives, a bit of pesto, olive oil)
ciabbata bread with butter
organic apple

exercise:
20mins paced walk
30mins crosstrainer
posture exercises - 5 reps
50 sit ups
stretches
burnt 562kcal

day 6

yay! 69.2 kg! another two hundred g down! :D ok, so i thought it would be more after burning so much last night, but hey, 200 g brings me closer to the mini goal... and to the goal, obviously. also, i feel like i need to poo, but it's not happening, so i think maybe after breakfast.

i've been to the doctor about not pooing and she said 'it's dietary' without even asking what my diet was like and prescribed me laxatives. i don't want to take laxatives, they don't really help in the longrun. you just get used to them and you won't even fart without them after a while. so i've decided i'm going to print out what i eat and what exercise i do in two months time and go see her. that way she can't tell me it's dietary, because my diet is healthy. she also won't be able to say i'm not active. the only thing she can say is that i don't drink enough water, because i drink about a litre a day. but i'm trying to change that. and anyway, i know lots of people who don't drink even a litre and go every day. actually, i think i might go just now. i did i did! and i weighed myself afterwards (i can't resist it) and i weigh 69 kilos exactly! yay! only 0.4 kg until my mini goal! that feels good! those mini goals were a good idea.

i think i'm starting to enjoy the gym now. it didn't take long - only four visits. we'll see how it goes today, but yesterday, i really enjoyed it. i was sweating like crazy, i normally absolutely hate sweat - the texture, the smell, the way it feels. but yesterday, i was really proud when there were whole drips of sweat. it's gross, i know. but it felt good.

i wonder, if the people in the gym look at everyone else and think 'she's fat' or 'she's really fit' or 'he's really fit'. i certainly do. i know it's not right and that i should concentrate on my workout and not look at other people. but i do. i'll see a fat person and think 'fat! good she's in the gym!' i even go here: 'wow, she's really skinny. but she's mingin' which is absolutely horrible. (mind you, when i look in the mirror i say fat mingin horrible, so maybe that's where it comes from. if i can't look at myself and think nice things, how do i go about thinking nice things about others?) i don't want to do it, but i do. i also compare everyone to myself. slimmer? fatter? same? i actually haven't seen a 'same' person yet. but that's cause everyone is different, right? i've seen this postcard the other day, it said 'the joy of a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than her' or something like that anyway. if they put it on the postcard, then i can't be the only one who does it, can i?

i decided to have a rest day today, since my normal rest days are thursday and sunday and i exercised last thursday. nice to be at home. will be nice to be back in the gym tomorrow though.

eating:
one slice of organic toast with organic spread
half glass organic orange juice
pita bread with organic cheese and red pepper - all organic
salad (chinese leaf, organic cherry tomatoes, organic red pepper, sea salt, olive oil)
organic apple

exercise:
rest day

day 5

i weigh 69.4 kilos! 69.4!!!!! i lost 0.4 kg on my rest day and i had quite a large meal - but apparently you have to eat to lose weight so it seems to be working. oh i'm so glad! that means i've lost 1.2 kg so far. and it's not even the end of week one yet! also, we're on day 5 now! i can't believe i'm still at it! i mean, it's good, just unusual for me. obviously, nowhere near victory yet, but i'll get there.

i'm going to the gym again today. i'm a bit less sore now so it shouldn't be very painful. i just wish it was more exciting. i have to do my 20 min paced walk. i also need to draw a training for the run plan on the paper, cause so far i only have it in my head and it would be nice if i could tick stuff off. i've also decided that i'm going to do the posture exercises that i once did in hospital. i can't do them at home because there's no space, but what do i pay gym membership for? exactly. i will do them on mondays, tuesdays, wednesdays and saturdays. i should really do them every day, but, i have rest days from the gym and on friday i need to have a shorter workout - about an hour - if mark is to practice in the evening. still, four days out of seven, better than nothing. and hopefully, my back will stop hurting. aaaah, the benefits of exercise.

i had wonderful all organic breakfast today. i can't believe people still eat non organic stuff. i mean, i have to, when i want to use an ingredient that's not available organic. but when i have all organic meals, they taste SO much nicer.

gym was actually fun today. i did the paced walk first, i wasn't bored at all. i felt the urge to run, but it was only my third paced walk and i'm suppossed to do six. so no running before i complete them. i was looking forward to the half an hour on the crosstrainer. after a few minutes on the crosstrainer, my heartrate was 170 and i was thinking 'i'll only do ten minutes'. but i forced myself to do 30, though i changed the resistance from 10 down to 6 and it was much easier. my heart rate went down by only ten beats but it made a huge difference. i also did the exercises for strong back. i must have looked weird, but i didn't care. and, i burnt 594 kcal! which is amazing! :) i love my heartrate monitor!

food summary:
pita bread with cottage cheese, red pepper and cherry tomatoes - all organic
scrambled eggs with mushrooms, one slice of toasted bread (no spread), cherry tomatoes - all organic apart from olive oil
organic apple
organic orange
organic kiwi

exercise summary:
20 mins paced walk
30 mins crosstrainer
exercises for good posture - 5 reps
50 sit ups
stretches

day 4

first of all, i weigh 69.8! that's -200 g since yesterday and -0.8 kg overall and it's under 70 kilos! how good is that?

i know i shouldn't really weigh myself every day, but i can't help it. i really can't.

today is my rest day. i'm not going to the gym or do anything at all. well, i might go shopping in which case i'm wearing my heart rate monitor just to see how much calories shopping burns. i'm going to be really good with eating though.

yesterday, i talked to mark and we decided i should set myself mini goals. first mini goal will be losing two kilos. when i lose them, we'll go to frankie and benny's for a meal - i'll have tomato and mozzarella salad with ciabatta bread, he'll have a biiig pizza (rather questionable who is getting rewarded here). i will also get sanctuary spa exfoliator. i desperately need an exfoliator. but i'll wait until i reach the 2 kg mark. that way, it will be more special. 2 kilos might look little, but when i lose them, i'll be down to 68.6 which will be great. and another one will take me down to 66.8 which will be absolutely fantastic. oh, and i should set myself a 10% goal. i need to count that. it's 63.54 kg. that will take me ages! i'll have to think of a really nice reward for that!

i had a shower and i looked in the mirror to see if i look any different. i don't. but apparently it takes 3 weeks to see the first changes. so i'll check again in three weeks. and probably a hundred times before then.

i buy two different types of bread. one is tesco's own organic thick sliced malted brown bread and the other one is warburtons or someone else, can't remember organic brown bread. the tesco one is thick and big, the other one is small. normally, i would have two slices of toast and wouldn't care how big the bread is. but now i've got the tesco's bread, so i only have one slice. i also have only half a glass of orange juice, because normally, i'd drink half and enjoy it and drink the rest just because it's already in the glass. so, i decided - eat half the portion and it works!

also, i counted that if i burn roughly 300 kcal in every workout, it will take aproximatelly 10 workouts to burn one pound of fat. 10 workouts is about two weeks. so it's not bad. and i'm also watching my eating so there should be more calories going. i'm trying not to set time goals for my weight loss but i would love to lose about 2 kilos a month. at least :)

i'd like to be 62 kilos before we go to slovakia again. i won't look too fat then. i don't want my friends to see me fat. or other people who are used to see me skinny and refer to me as 'monster' when i'm fat. not nice, not nice at all. my hair will be longer then as well.

68.6 kg here i come!!!!!

we went shopping and i forgot to take my heartrate monitor. nevermind. we bought all the healthy food, lots of organic fruit and vegetables and some organic jam and quorn mince and bread and cottage cheese. i even resisted buying these fantastic italian crackers i've been looking for for a few years (they had 16% fat in them). we cooked spagetti bolognese with the quorn mince and they were well nice. although i think i prefer normal spagetti. it was nice to have a cooked meal though. and we had like proper two course meal - soup from yesterday and spagetti. it was missing a dessert, but i think i rather go without.

it's seven o'clock and i'm not hungry. maybe i'll get hungry later and have a piece of fruit or maybe i won't get hungry and won't eat. apparently you shouldn't eat three hours before you go to sleep. dunno if that applies to fruit as well.

eating today:
one slice of organic toast with organic spread
half glass of organic orange juice
one bowl of yummy home made (from scratch) vegetable soup
organic spagetti 'bolognese' - the sauce was made with quorn mince, sundried tomato paste and organic ketchup
organic orange

exercise:
rest day

day 3

i'm sore. my arms, the back of my arms, the place where arms connect to the body (that one probably hurts the most) and my stomach. so when i have an itch on my neck, it hurts. well, i'm doing yoga today, see how painful that's gonna be. oh, and i have to do my 20 minutes paced walk for the run training. i can't decide whether i should go to the gym and do just the 20 minutes on the treadmill or go, do 20 mins on treadmill and another half an hour on the crosstrainer. we'll see.

but the best news of today: i weigh 70 kg!
which is 0.6 kg less than on thursday. which is nice :D

yoga didn't go according to plan. it was painful and i was really tight. so i only did seventeen minutes and decided to go to the gym instead. i did paced walk and some cardio. couldn't really be bothered. but i did it anyway. i will be thin!

food summary:
special k with semi skimmed milk
half glass of organic orange juice
one slice of organic toast with organic spread
half glass of organic orange juice
yummy vegetable soup - two bowls
organic apple

exercise summary:
17 mins yoga
20 mins paced walk
10 mins crosstrainer - interval training
10 mins funny bike
5 mins rowing
50 sit ups
stretches
i burnt 388 kcal

day 2

did resistance in the gym. it wasn't actually packed, which was nice. i burnt 379 kcal which makes it 918 kcal for today and yesterday together. quite good.
i was really good with eating as well. i ate organic oats soaked in hot water and i didn't even eat them all (ok, so i made too much) and an organic apple. if special k was organic, i would have eaten all organic today. it's only past seven o'clock so i might get hungry later on, but i'll just have a piece of fruit or a musli bar. no cheesy buns!
organic freak anyone?

i actually pooed! this is probably nothing unusual for you, but i poo once a week and when i do it's sheep shit. whereas today, i actually pooed and it was proper poo. now, i know this is disgusting, but, examining your own poo is important. or so the gillian mckeith woman says.
i still weigh the same as i did yesterday. it seems a bit unfair, after all the hard work i did in the gym yesterday. though i ate those cheese buns in the evening. i think i will need to plan the evening meals. it is especially easy to eat a lot when i get home from the gym, cause i feel like i burnt so much i need to eat a lot. which is not the case.
sooo, today, i'll eat either: organic oats and a piece of fruit OR organic toast and a piece of fruit.
i had special k with milk for breakfast today. and i'll have organic jam sandwiches in about half an hour. that way i won't be starving when i go to the gym at about half five/six. it will be packed again.
i think i'll do resistance training today. i prefer doing resistance training to cardio. i find it easier. if i could, i'd do resistance every day of the week. but that would be plain silly. so i'll better stick to once a week resistance and cardio the rest.
let's keep this up.

day 1

ha! been to the gym. did half an hour on the crosstrainer - resistance 10, 20 minutes paced walk and 50 situps. i wanted to do 100 but i was knackered. and stretches, of course. according to my heart rate monitor i burnt 539 kcal. which is good. i kinda messed up at dinner though. i ate three oranges, half plate of semolina (no sugar) and two cheese buns. no cheese buns tomorrow. i promise

it's the first day!

right, this is it! i'm gonna get fit. i'm gonna be able to run 10 km on 21st may. this year. not the next. i better measure myself now. ok, i weigh 70.6 kg, that's after an apple and jam sandwiches cause i forgot to weigh myself this morning. thigh measurement is 62 cm, waist 82 cm, bellybutton line is 92 - oh dear! ok, i'm freezing now. but i've done quite good with eating today - an apple for breakfast and organic jam sandwiches for lunch. and i WON'T pig out after i've been to the gym. yes that's right. cause i'm going to the gym. right after mark's had a shower. which he will as soon as he can get into the bathroom. i'll go set up my heart rate monitor now. yes yes, a proper workout :) hopefully i won't die after first five minutes.