bingeing? me?

ok so i messed up again. i was really good all day - shredded wheat for breakfast, quorn sandwiches for lunch, two oranges for tea. and i was satisfied. then i was talking about food with centi. and i thought to myself 'i fancy some food' (i wasn't hungry) and 'i still have that stuffed aubergine from yesterday, it will go off if i don't eat it today.' so i went downstairs - this was at ten pm - and got the aubergine. then i thought i'd better have it with some bread. i wanted the cheesy bun, but i thought 'nah, i'll be good, i'll have wholemeal stuff' and i made two slices of toast. i was proud i didn't give in. i ate that. that wouldn't be so bad. but then i wanted the cheesy buns. i resisted for a bit, but after a few minutes i was downstairs getting both cheesy buns (we only had two left). i started eating one and i didn't even like it. i considered putting it back in the pack, but thought mark wouldn't like it with my teethmarks in it so i continued eating it. and then i had the second one. and then i wanted chocolate. so i had celebrations. i had - let me count - 4 bounty's, 3 truffles, 1 galaxy, 8 maltesers. i mean what the fuck was i doing? i didn't even want the cheesy buns! i didn't want the chocolate! why on earth did i eat them?

it looks like i don't seem to be able to continue with my diet when i get a positive result. like, today, in the morning, i weighed 67.9kg. yes, the wished for 67's. but now, obviously, with the fucking shiloads of food, i'll weigh hundred and ten kilos tomorrow. aaaaaaargh. first it was 70 kg, then i got through it, then it was 69, now it's 68. and it doesn't matter if i weigh myself or not.

bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad me!