day 6

yay! 69.2 kg! another two hundred g down! :D ok, so i thought it would be more after burning so much last night, but hey, 200 g brings me closer to the mini goal... and to the goal, obviously. also, i feel like i need to poo, but it's not happening, so i think maybe after breakfast.

i've been to the doctor about not pooing and she said 'it's dietary' without even asking what my diet was like and prescribed me laxatives. i don't want to take laxatives, they don't really help in the longrun. you just get used to them and you won't even fart without them after a while. so i've decided i'm going to print out what i eat and what exercise i do in two months time and go see her. that way she can't tell me it's dietary, because my diet is healthy. she also won't be able to say i'm not active. the only thing she can say is that i don't drink enough water, because i drink about a litre a day. but i'm trying to change that. and anyway, i know lots of people who don't drink even a litre and go every day. actually, i think i might go just now. i did i did! and i weighed myself afterwards (i can't resist it) and i weigh 69 kilos exactly! yay! only 0.4 kg until my mini goal! that feels good! those mini goals were a good idea.

i think i'm starting to enjoy the gym now. it didn't take long - only four visits. we'll see how it goes today, but yesterday, i really enjoyed it. i was sweating like crazy, i normally absolutely hate sweat - the texture, the smell, the way it feels. but yesterday, i was really proud when there were whole drips of sweat. it's gross, i know. but it felt good.

i wonder, if the people in the gym look at everyone else and think 'she's fat' or 'she's really fit' or 'he's really fit'. i certainly do. i know it's not right and that i should concentrate on my workout and not look at other people. but i do. i'll see a fat person and think 'fat! good she's in the gym!' i even go here: 'wow, she's really skinny. but she's mingin' which is absolutely horrible. (mind you, when i look in the mirror i say fat mingin horrible, so maybe that's where it comes from. if i can't look at myself and think nice things, how do i go about thinking nice things about others?) i don't want to do it, but i do. i also compare everyone to myself. slimmer? fatter? same? i actually haven't seen a 'same' person yet. but that's cause everyone is different, right? i've seen this postcard the other day, it said 'the joy of a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than her' or something like that anyway. if they put it on the postcard, then i can't be the only one who does it, can i?

i decided to have a rest day today, since my normal rest days are thursday and sunday and i exercised last thursday. nice to be at home. will be nice to be back in the gym tomorrow though.

eating:
one slice of organic toast with organic spread
half glass organic orange juice
pita bread with organic cheese and red pepper - all organic
salad (chinese leaf, organic cherry tomatoes, organic red pepper, sea salt, olive oil)
organic apple

exercise:
rest day