no take-aways

i've completed a week of no take-away meals. well, it's still sunday but i've had my tea and god i'd be damned if i had a take-away on the last day of no take-aways week when i can have one tomorrow if i want to. so yay me! no chocolate or ice cream week starts tomorrow. if i can live without take-aways for a week i can sure live without chocolate and ice cream.

i refused to get up for yoga this morning. i was so tired and i just kept thinking that the woman teaches the same class every time anyway so what's the point of going? i went swimming in the evening instead. i did 50 lengths - 1000 m and it took me about 45 minutes.

it's the end of the month so i should have a little exercise review. i exercised for 22 days out of 30. i had a really bad cold at the beginning of the month and i had a bad leg about a week ago. no shabby excuses, i promise, it's all genuine. so i actually exercised every single day when i was able to exercise. yay me again! see what may brings but i would like to continue exercising like mad. and eat better!

not fat?

i was cooking soup last night and i noticed something when i saw my reflection in the kitchen window. then i saw the same thing in the gym mirrors today. i don't look fat. yes, my stomach is sticking out a bit, my arse is big and my calf muscles are massive. but i don't look fat. i look... normal. yes. i look normal. i look really in proportion as well (not when i'm wearing a sports bra cause then i have no boobs but that will be fixed in 46 days). that's weird. only two days ago i had this image of myself in my head in which i was horribly fat. the thing is, i'm now 3 kg down from my highest normal weight (according to bmi). so it really must be that i'm not fat anymore. obviously, that applies to 'in clothes' only, when i'm naked it's a whole different story. it feels very strange but kinda good too.

i fucked up a bit with food yesterday. i was very hungry (more about that later) and i tried to eat fruit and veg but it didn't help. i had a row of chocolate and thought to myself that the one row would be all i'd have. but i had more. and more. and then some. i didn't eat the whole bar but it was completely unnecessary to eat as much as i did. all i can do now is to learn from it and not do it again.
there is a pattern emerging - i fuck up on fridays. i think there are two reasons.
1/i'm hungry. i swim for 20-30 minutes and do aqua aerobics. that burns more calories than the exercise i do on other days. so i need to eat more. yesterday i had only three crumpets for lunch. i was bound to be hungry. so, from now on - bigger lunch on fridays.
2/boredom. mark does his band stuff on fridays. i need to plan more activities for friday nights.
there! sorted!

it was a gym day today. so i went and discovered that we have a few new treadmills! how exciting! they have touch sensor buttons and i'm dead happy about that because the old ones have buttons you have to press really hard and they really hurt your fingers.
i've blogged earlier that i wear earth energetic trainers to the gym and that they have negative heel technology which causes that you walk on 7.5% incline all the time. and i also whinged that this is most likely the reason why i get so knackered on the treadmill. so today, i decided to wear different trainers. and yes, it was totally the shoes! running was much easier today. i did 3 min walk 2 min run for 30 minutes but i think i could have done 2.5 min walk 2.5 min run. so i'm going to do that on monday. it felt a bit strange at first to run without an incline, it actually felt as if i was running downhill! (which i wasn't) i know i will be burning less calories this way but i think there's a less chance of straining muscles and bigger chance of achieving my tiny little running goals (the first one is to jog for 5 minutes).

another little victory

one item on my 'other goals' list is 'wash my jeans, put them on and they're not tight!' i washed my jeans yesterday. i put them on this morning and...

... they were not tight!

no lunges, no squats, no sideway stretches. the jeans fitted like a glove. brilliant! they look much better now they've been washed, they were getting a bit too baggy and didn't hold any shape. so now i actually have an ass that doesn't hang down. and it looks good :D it also means that i probably won't have to buy a new pair for the 'inbetween period', i should fit into my old clothes when i lose four more kilos and the pair i've got at the moment shouldn't get too baggy before that happens i don't think. that's good because i really don't want to spend £70 on something i'd wear for two months (or maybe even less).

it was aqua aerobics at the gym today. amanda was in the reception so we talked for a while and she said she could do some running training with me if i wanted to - like an interval thing when you run for 30 seconds, then you stop, then you run again... cool. i'll give myself a month to get fitter and we can do it!
i managed to swim 25 lengths (20 m pool) before the class started. and it was good. better than last time because even though we were repeating things a lot, it wasn't only two things like last week.
afterwards, as i was waiting for a shower (i had to wait for a shower, can you believe that???) i noticed that my legs looked different. i can't really explain how, they still looked big but like.. tauter. and when i poked them, they felt muscly rather than fatty. weird. maybe it's just because they are sore after yesterday's pilates but maybe it's because they really are getting more muscly. you never know.

four days until the next weigh in. i want to do really well.

pilates

the dancing class yesterday was really good. there were lots of new people so we were going through the routine from the beginning and we learnt a lot of new steps. there was a nightmare situation in the end of the class when we had to dance two by two. jesus. just for a short time but still. i've survived. i'll go back next week.

i woke up a bit sore (my back) this morning and found it very difficult to get up (because i was lazy, not because i was sore). mark was at home so i didn't have to go by bus and i decided to go for eleven o'clock instead of ten. the plan was 30 minutes on the treadmill (taking it easy so the leg stays ok), 15 minutes on the rower and another 15 minutes on the recumbent bike. there was a slight problem with this plan though. i didn't fancy going to the gym at all. so i checked out the classes schedule and there was a pilates class at 11.30 with amanda. amanda runs the dancing class and she's cool so i thought i'd give gym a miss and give pilates a try. i have a pilates dvd that i used to do a while back and i quite liked it. the class was much better. i think i'll go next thursday too although there's this 'mat-on-the-bus' issue. well i'll just have to deal with it.

it's almost the end of april and i've been focused on the weight loss for almost a month. if the three days when i slipped didn't count then i've been focused for a whole month ;) (ok so there are still like 3 days to go til the end of april but i'm confident i won't fuck up). it's good to know that i've done it and it doesn't even seems so long. it's not as hard as i've always believed. you eat well, you exercise. not difficult.

oh. and i haven't had any of that chocolate i bought yesterday ;)

yay

wednesday. weigh in day for me (i'm allowed to weigh myself every week now). i weighed and ...

... i've lost 0.5 kg! so now i weigh 66.5 kg!!! that's my lowest weight in past year and a half or so. i'm chuffed. especially because i was not very good this past week - i had chinese take away twice even though i aimed for none and i ate six bars of chocolate (small, not the 100 g ones) altogether and haven't been in the gym since friday (that's not because of laziness but because of a bad leg). but, despite all this i've lost. it's a victory! i can tick off another mini goal which is 'be under 67 kg' and update my ticker. only 11.5 kg to lose now! happy happy happy happy

i didn't take any measurements this morning because
1/i was supposed to go shopping with mark's mom and i got up a bit late so i had no time
2/decided it would be best if i only took measurements once a month

i went shopping with mark's mom as planned. we went to a pound shop, there is a really good pound shop in stretford arndale and you know what i found there? nestle double cream chocolate! they don't make it anymore because it was too expensive to make so you can't buy it anymore and mark loves that chocolate (ok so i do too). i bought 15 bars. all for mark. i will have a bit if i feel like it but there's no way i'm going to eat a whole bar (or two) just because we've got them. mark needs to put on weight, mark needs to eat chocolate. if i eat his chocolate i will be preventing him from gaining weight. that's the way i should see it ;)
i also bought (in a different shop) three little piggy banks. they look like cows and they have 'my 1st birthday' written on them. perfect for my cousins children.

yay i'm pleased with myself today!

water retention

i woke up at six am this morning because i needed to pee. i never wake up at night to pee! anyway, i think all the water i've been retaining due to the contraception has come out as i seem to have lost a kilo overnight (sadly it's not another kilo lost as i put on a kilo after weigh in).

my leg is all good now and i'm going to the dancing class tomorrow. i hope i'll be better than last week. i hope i haven't forgotten the routine yet! i'm glad i can go back to the gym. although, i was having pain in the kidney area today and that's not good news with me as i've already had a kidney infection twice. it's not a nice thing to have and it would definitely keep me out of the gym (although i would probably lose weight due to not eating) so i really hope i don't have it.

i've bought ear cones today. i had a horrible cold a month ago and my ears were terribly congested and they're still not back to their normal self. the cones are meant to correct the pressure in the ears and clean them out so i'm hoping i'll feel much better once i have them done. the guy in the dr & herbs shop even did me a good deal - they were £10 for a pack and he gave me two packs for £15. how good?

apart from that - my eating's been good for two days now. let's keep it up!

contraception

right. well. how should i...

i binged

these past three days, all i did was eat. last night, i had three pieces of toast. like the biggest toastie bread ever. at 11 pm. and viennetta a few hours before. and lots of cauliflower inbetween.

the thing is, i've started taking contraception. i normally don't have periods, i've not had one since december. but i never know, i might get one when i least expect it. my plastic surgeon won't operate if i'm on my period. so i wanted to make sure i wouldn't have a period when the time comes and started taking contraception to have periods and periodfree times. however, this is now doing havoc with my appetite. i crave carbs. after two weeks of not wanting any chocolate or bread it's all i want to eat.
so that's what i did for three days. i ate chocolate and bread. but i think that three days is enough. i won't let a bloody pill dictate me what to eat, especially because the reason i am fat now is that i allowed medication to dictate me what and how much to eat a year and a half ago. it's not going to happen again.

i'm starting fresh now! after all, it is a monday ;) and it's the start of paulene's 12 week challenge. and i will do so well in the challenge! i promise!

still no exercise as the leg is not completely ok yet although it is getting better. i'll leave it alone today and on tuesday but i'm definitely going to the dance class on wednesday. and hopefully nothing will happen and i'll be able to resume my exercise regime.

annoying

i decided to give gym a miss today. the leg just hurts and i think it needs time to recover. i'll see how it is tomorrow and on monday but i definitely hope it will be ok by wednesday because the dance class is on and if i don't go i will be really lost the week after. so fingers crossed.

it really does annoy me because there are only 53 days until my boob job left and i want to lose as much weight as i can before then. 53 days is not a lot and i can't afford not to exercise for 3-4 days. and i also cannot afford to eat three bars of chocolate but that's yesterday's story. it also means that i have to eat super well these few days. i've done quite well today - cereal with yogurt for breakfast, quorn fillet, potatoes, beans with vegetable sausages for lunch and that filled me up so much i'm not even slightly hungry now (half six). so hopefully i won't need to eat anything else today but if i do i'll just have an apple or something.

we've been to tesco and bought lots of food. all healthy, lots of fruit and vegetables. strawberries! they had my greek style yogurt with honey oh it's the best thing ever. i've been without it for a week now and i can't wait until tomorrow morning when i'll have it for breakfast. but see, the good thing is, i'd really like the yogurt now but i'm not hungry so i'm not gonna have it. i'll wait for tomorrow. that's the way to go!

i have to stop drinking so much orange juice. the bloody thing has 43 calories in 100 g!

chocolate binge

i went to aqua aerobics class today. nice because i could sleep for 40 minutes longer. the class was a bit boring though, we were doing the same stuff over and over and over. but i managed. i also swam 500 m (25 lengths) before the class started. compared to the gym, swimming is so boring. it wouldn't be if i could have my ipod on but they obviously don't work well under water so i guess i'll have to wait until they make a waterproof one ;)

mark has a band practice today. so he leaves just before six and i'm doing my colour by numbers winnie the pooh picture. that's good. then i get bored and can hear the snowflake (which i bought for mark) calling my name. so i have the snowflake. i want more chocolate so instead of telling myself to shut up sit down and wait it out i go downstairs and take two (not one, two!) wonka bars. obviously, i eat them upstairs. i'm like 'what the fuck???' right afterwards. so i do the dance routine a few times, i'm getting better. better as in i can actually remember it well enough to do it fast. then i decide to go to the trafford centre to walk out the chocolate.
as i'm getting off the bus, a fat girl is stood in front of me. i don't think i've ever been as big as her but it suddenly hits me that i don't ever want to be either. i want to be thin. that's what i'm going to the gym every day for. that's why i'm trying to eat healthy every day. that's why i don't eat chocolate and crisps! i mean, i do, every now and then, they're not forbidden, but it's a tiny piece once a week not three full size bars... so why on earth did i just eat three bars of chocolate????
then i go through debenhams and look at all these clothes that i want to wear and wonder about the chocolate again. the thing is, i understand that i won't put two kilos of pure fat from these three bars of chocolate i've eaten although it will most likely slow down the weight loss. but i'm scared that i will eat another three bars tomorrow and the day after and the day after that... i don't want that to happen.

i bought some stickers. feet and smiling faces. i'm stealing paulene's idea (i think she stole it from someone else herself). for a day when i exercise i'll stick a foot in my filofax. for a day when i eat well, i'll stick a smiling face in my filofax. i've already been busy doing it for the days already gone. and it looks good. obviously, more feet than smiling faces but i'm hoping i will be getting more and more smilies.
i also bought a very nice tshirt for mark, i hope he'll like it. and i hope it fits as well.

i've done something to my leg. i was whinging yesterday that my hip hurt. well actually, it's weird. it doesn't hurt all the time. but when i go upstairs, downstairs, when i squat and want to get up and sometimes when i walk, i get this shooting pain from my knee up the leg into the hip. gah! getting up from squating position is the worst. well i'll see how it is tomorrow. i'm definitely not going to run tomorrow but i'll have to see about walking and biking. so annoying! mark suggested i should do this arm machine, you know, it's like a bike but for arms. but i can't really imagine doing that for longer than five minutes. so i'll see about the workout tomorrow. wish me luck!

ticker

the hip hop dancing class yesterday was fun. it was hard work too! what i didn't expect was that i'd have to learn a routine. i thought it would be just moves! silly me. i'll have to practice it at home now.
it's cool to have this class at my gym. it's choreographed by jamie king, he's choreographed some music videos for madonna and such and i've read about the classes in cosmopolitan or elle (can't remember but my money's on cosmopolitan).
however, when i came home and showed mark the routine he said it was good but he'd hardly call it hip hop dancing. well. what does he know? ;) but no, the thing is, the actual thing is called 'rockstar workout', but my gym calls it 'hip hop dancing' so i don't know! let's just say i've not seen a rockstar doing moves like that (perhaps i should teach mark some haha), popstar yes, but rockstar, no.

we went to the trafford centre last night and i bought a really nice towel from john lewis. it's made out of egyptian cotton (why is egyptian cotton better than any other cotton? anyone knows, let me know) and it's a nice beige colour. i'll use it for the gym. it's nice and soft.
i also bought jelly lolly. it was lovely! so sweet :) it was nice to have a treat. oh, as i'm writing this i'm thinking 'fried rice for tea today' but guess what? one of my 'other goals' is no take-away this week. oh well. guess i only need to wait another four days.

the gym today wasn't great. i had to wait for the bus for over half an hour (this post was almost titled 'fucking buses' but i've calmed down now) cause the one i usually get was (i'm assuming) cancelled. good job i wasn't going to a class cause i would have been screwed. gah!

my hip started to hurt as i was walking to the gym. it was still hurting when i went on the treadmill and although i tried running it wasn't happening. it just hurt and i was scared i'd damage it or something so i walked for half an hour instead. (when i told mark later he said 'your hip hurt because you did hip hop dancing yesterday' :D) then i did 15 minutes on recumbent bike and 15 minutes on the rower. then 100 sit ups and stretches. so few people stretch after the exercise in the gym. not very good!

one girl from the gym reception calls me by name. not only when i come and she can see my name on the computer. no. she calls me by name when i leave too! i guess i must be a regular now ;)

oh, and about the ticker. i like to look at it. it says 16.4 kg lost 12 kg to go. it feels good that i've lost more than i need to lose. and it will look even better with every lost kilo (or even half a kilo). it just makes me proud. i can do this. 12 kilos is nothing!

67 and 75

right, so the weigh in day came. exciting but a bit scary. this is how it went:

weight: 67 kg
measurements:
thigh: 61 cm
bum: 103 cm
belly button: 86 cm
waist: 75 cm
ribcage: 76.5 cm

these are amazing results! i've lost 1.5 kg in the past two weeks and i can tick off the first mini goal and cash £20 muahaha. the other thing i'm very glad about is that i measure 75 cm around my waist. that's actually a goal on the 'other' list which i blogged about earlier. so two goals ticked off! how good is that!
then there is an amazing measurement, the ribcage. i measure my ribcage instead of chest because that's what they measure before you have the boobjob plus that way i know whether it's me that's shrinking or my boobs. when i was measured by the plastic surgeon a month ago, my ribcage was 81 cm. now it's 76.5! how is that possible??? it's been only a month and i've only been exercising for two weeks!

anyway, i just thought i'd blog this before i go to the hip hop dance class so you can share my joy :) but yeah, the hip hop dance class... i've decided to give it a go. it will be fun! i might not get everything, but as mark said, it's the first time such class is at my gym so no one there will know the moves. so yeah, wish me luck :)

two weeks

it's raining today so i tested my new umbrella. it's great! it's very light and it doesn't stay wet. i don't know about not bending cause it wasn't windy when i used it but i do like it.

i've been going to the gym for two weeks now. every day! i'm so proud! i know i blogged about going to the gym for ten days and i should really shut up about it but comon two weeks is a milestone! i just think it's so important that i didn't use any of my old excuses and didn't stop going after three days. i think this time i really can do it! actually, i know i can do it :)

i went to the sculpt class today. the focus was on abs (with weights), triceps and bloody inner thighs. i can do everything, 1000 sit ups and tricep extentions (i think that's what we were doing) but i can't do the bloody inner thigh exercises. i don't get it. i've always thought that legs are my strongest part... well they're not! but i'll build up.
there's a yoga class right after the sculpt class (dunno why i've never noticed this). i'm thinking about doing sculpt and yoga class on tuesdays but 1/i'm not sure i want to do two classes 2/i know that the yoga teacher teaches the same class the whole week. so i think i'll stick to the sculpt only.

can i just say, if you have trousers that show your crack and you have a muffin top please please buy bigger trousers!

i did it i did it i did it!!!

i did 3 min walk/2 min run for half an hour!

i woke up with a headache today. went back to bed right after breakfast and when i woke up the headache was still there. i was feeling pretty sick as well. i decided i'd go to the gym anyway, after all i could call mark after ten minutes if it wasn't happening. on the way there i had an inner dialogue about whether or not to run. i thought that if i start running, my head and intestines will scream noooooooooo and i'll be sick all over the treadmill.

we went to the gym shop and i bought some wristbands cause the sweat in your eyes gets a bit annoying. they didn't have oakleys so i bought adidas. they're nice. i put one on straight away and went to the gym. i decided to run. i told myself that i could always stop if i need to. i didn't need to. it was easy. well, easy. easy compared to saturdays run. the first four sets were easy, i recovered quickly while i walked, the last two sets were more difficult but i still completed them and i felt great afterwards. i was gulping water like mad. however, my legs decided that the treadmill was enough work for them for one day and i had to take it really easy on the crosstrainer. i did half an hour and i was glad cause the first five minutes looked very bad :)

my obliques were sore after yesterday's yoga. it's good because they've not been sore after any other exercise so i'm really glad i'm doing the classes i'm doing because they exercise different muscles in a variety of ways.
talking about classes there is a nike hip hop dancing class on wednesday. just a one off i think. i think it can be quite fun but at the same time i don't want to make an ass of myself. what if i won't get any of the moves? i think i'll probably go.

only two days until weigh in day.

yoga

oh it was so hard getting up in the morning! eight o'clock on sunday that's pure craziness. but i got up and went to the gym. the yoga class was bloody hard work! we bent every which way and i'm stretched in places that i thought can't be stretched. i kept wishing for relaxation. but i did it and that's important! i had to lower my arms a few times when we were doing warrior posture but apart from that i did everything. so not bad!

i think i have a hard time running because i run on an incline. i wear earth energetic trainers, they have negative heel technology and they're basically equivalent to walking on 7.5 degree incline. on the treadmill i always set 2 degree incline, so it's basically as if i walked/ran on almost 10 degree incline. which is quite steep. maybe if i ran on flat... but that's not going to happen so it's pointless to even think about it. i'm just making excuses. the truth is i'm unfit and i need to work on myself. tomorrow i'm back on the treadmill again so i guess i'm doing that.

i can do it!

first 'other' goal ticked off

i have the main goal. which is to reach 55 kg before christmas '06. then i have a list of mini goals. the first one is to weigh 67 kg. and then i have a list of 'other goals'. that one includes things like 'be able to jog for 5 minutes', 'fit into my go fcuk yourself t-shirt' and 'zipp up my white boots to the top'. and today, i ticked one goal off the 'other goals' list. it was 'gym trousers not tight after they've been washed'. i put them on today and realised they weren't tight! maybe i added more fabric conditioner or something but they definitely weren't tight. obviously i choose to believe it's because i'm getting slimmer. and i am! my stomach is definitely flatter - i measure 76 cm around my waist, it was 82 before i think. my legs are slimmer too. i am getting slimmer!

so, after such good start of the day i went to the gym. i did the walk/run but today i walked for 3 minutes and ran for 2. i didn't do full 30 minutes because after 20 minutes of this i was on the verge of passing out and i was feeling sick. so i walked the rest. it doesn't matter, i'll better it next time. i was quite relieved when i could sit down - it was bike day today and i took it easy. well, easy... easier than usual (58 rpm instead of 60). i was glad when the time was up. when i stood up and started walking i felt as if i pissed myself. when i got down on the mat i found out i also looked as if i pissed myself. how embarrassing! but i guess people go to the gym to sweat. still, why can't i sweat in different places???

i'm glad it's a yoga day tomorrow (yes i've decided to do yoga on sundays). it will be a nice break from the gym.

10 days

today was my tenth day in a row in the gym. i'm proud! i said i'd go to the gym every day and so far that is precisely what i've done! i know 10 days is hardly a lot but it definitely is a start and it's a better start than all the starts before. and i'm not getting bored of it yet either so it looks like i'm going to continue doing what i've started. brilliant!

i went to aqua aerobics class today. i swam while i waited for the class to start, i did 11 lengths (20 m pool). the class was good, we used these really funny rubber gloves that were really difficult to get on. we were doing lots of jumps, it was fun. it's weird how much the water slows down your movements.
the downstairs showers are so much better than the ones upstairs. i'm considering using the downstairs changing rooms all the time but the floor is always wet from the people coming from the pool and i hate wet so i'm not sure. but the showers are leet.

oh i forgot to mention yesterday that when i came to the gym there was this guy with broken arm pedalling away on a crosstrainer. now that is determination!

it doesn't look like i'm going to do much walking today because mark is recording today and the trafford centre is super busy. i guess i could go for a walk around the park or something, it's nice and warm outsine, sun is shining and everything but i really don't want to go on my own. it seems wrong to see 500 on the pedometer instead of 10 000 though.

tomorrow it's back to the gym but i will not set my alarm to wake me up, i can have a lie in one day a week ;)

happy easter!

strawberries!

we bought this lovely toiletries bag in selfridges yesterday. it's made by benefit and it's a perfect size. everything i need to take to the gym fits in it and it fits perfect in the gym bag. it was a bit expensive (£29.50) but i've looked in boots and all their bags were ugly, wrong shape and wrong size. we also bought an umbrella. a black one as usual. apparently it has fiberglass in the frame so it shouldn't bend or break easily. this is yet to be tested though.

i missed my bus stop on the way to the gym this morning. i was thinking about the personal shopper experience in selfridges when i reach my target weight and noticed i was supposed to get off when the bus went pass the stop. i called myself a dickhead and rode all the way to the trafford centre. however, the distance from the trafford centre bus station and the bus stop i normally get off (when i'm not thinking about personal shopper) to the gym is about the same so it wasn't that bad.

it was back to normal walk in the gym today as you're not supposed to run two days in a row. so i walked for 30 minutes, then i rowed for 30 minutes and then i did 100 sit ups.

i ate strawberries for the first time this year. and they were lovely! i love strawberries. only when they're nice though. cause sometimes you get really weak tasting or even sour strawberries. i don't like those.

63 days

it's exactly 9 weeks until my breast augmentation. only 63 days. that's not long, is it? 63 days to lose as much weight as i can. i still have to wait for a week to weigh myself officially so there's still time to lose that half a kilo. by then it will be only 8 weeks! god it goes quick!

i dry brushed this morning! i'm so pleased about that, i've not done this for over a year. i will really try to do it every day. there's nothing better than dry brushing followed by body lotion.

yesterday's sculpt class obviously did me good. my inner thighs and my stomach are sore. not very sore, but i can definitely feel them. that's the first time i'm sore since i've started going to the gym. i like it! not that i enjoy being sore but it kinda makes me feel like i've worked hard.

i did 30 min walk/run (4 min walk, 1 min run) and 30 min on recumbent bike in the gym today. i really didn't feel like running and i had to give myself some selftalk. it obviously worked. i sweated a lot. i don't quite understand that. how can i sweat (a lot) more when i'm sat on a bike and move my legs only than when i'm standing on a crosstrainer and move my legs and arms?

i forgot to buy an umbrella in the trafford centre yesterday (good job it wasn't raining today). but i got two little lindt chocolate bunnies cause they were giving them out for free. well, i got just one, but mark got one too and he gave me his because i think lindt chocolate is the most gorgeous chocolate in the world. i will save them for when i really feel like chocolate and can't be without. i'm not going to eat them just because i've got them. and, to tell the truth, i don't even feel tempted.

final hurdle

i woke up and it was raining. i really did not expect rain as it was such a beautiful day yesterday but there it was, pissing it down outside the window. i got up. whether i was going to the gym or not was not a question. i was going! a bit of rain can't stop me from getting what i want. final hurdle cleared!

mark's mom offered to give me a lift to the gym. that was nice. today's workout plan was 30' walk and 30' recumbent bike but when i came to the gym there was a class about to start in studio 1. i looked at the board and it was a 'sculpt' class. yesterday i blogged that i would like to do some toning class and i thought this was an opportunity to try something new. there were old ladies waiting so i thought 'can't be too difficult if they can do it! i will give it a go!' i later found out that i was terribly wrong and that those old ladies were incredibly fit. the class was fun (there was some ass shaking action) but it was incredibly tough. it focused on thighs and stomach. i could do stomach ok (perhaps because i've done some sit ups in the past week) but the thighs! that was painful! i had to stop and start a lot. other people had to do that too though. the old ladies didn't. the old ladies kept going.
it was nice to go to a class for a change and i enjoyed it a lot. i think i will go to this class on tuesdays. it will break down the week nicely and it will add some variety to the workouts. i'm still considering the yoga class on sunday morning. that way i'd have 5 cardio days and 2 toning days. sounds good to me! there's still the issue of getting up early on sundays though.

when i came out of the gym it was still raining. i started walking to the bus station and it got so windy that my umbrella broke :/ it was a tiny little fragile thing and the wind just bent one of the metal sticks so it was hanging there in 90 degrees angle. we can buy a new one in the trafford centre today. we definitely have to go to the trafford centre because i did not do my walk on the treadmill today so i didn't make many steps so far.

i've been thinking about what would happen if i stepped on the scales next week and there would be no loss (or there would even be gain!) in the past, i would stop exercising and start eating shitloads. not this time though. i exercise seven days a week and i eat well. if i don't lose weight this week, i'll lose weight next week. it will have to come off at some point. i just have to be patient. i'm not going to give up!

toni&guy

toni&guy products are on offer at boots. 2 for £7. that's quite reasonable, i think. i bought protective spray for when you blow dry your hair (which i do every day at the gym now) and dry shampoo (always good to have). i wanted to buy some shampoo, i've never tried toni&guy shampoo, but they list glycerin as an ingredient. rather annoying when they put it like that, it most likely is plant glycerin but when they don't write 'plant' or 'vegetable' then i can't really buy it without asking them first. so i emailed them on saturday. i got a reply today and it said:

Boots actually creates formulations for approval by Toni&Guy and although I know there is a stringent anti-animal testing policy in place, I would advise that you contact Boots customer services direct for confirmation as I am not privvy to details relating to individual ingredients. Tel number is...

what??? boots make toni&guy products??? why don't i buy boots botanics or hair science or whatever else there is for half the price?
also, what kind of customer service is this? i emailed toni&guy about toni&guy products. they tell me to call someone else? why couldn't they call that someone else and email me an answer to my question? bah! obviously, i expect too much.

i've been to the gym today. i tried to talk myself out of going this morning when i really didn't want to get up. mark's mom gave me a lift there. i went on the treadmill first and i've decided i'd run a bit today. i walked for 4 minutes and ran for 1 then walked for 4 and ran for 1... and did that for 30 minutes. it was nice for a change, it broke the walk down nicely and it seemed to go quicker. i had an inner dialogue whether to run the last two 1 minute runs or not (i was getting tired) but i pushed myself and ran. i know it seems like i'm taking the piss when i say i pushed myself to run for one minute but i really had to do that. i know i'll never be a runner but i would like to be able to jog for 30 minutes without dying. afterwards, i did 30 min on crosstrainer. it seemed long and boring.
oh, and when i came to the gym, there was some class going on in studio 1 and they were doing all these tai chi moves, i shall have a look what it was. apparently pilates. i would like to do pilates or yoga again but the thought of taking yoga mat on a bus is not very appealing. however, there is a yoga class at 9.30 on sunday morning which i could go to and mark would take me there so the bus/yoga mat problem wouldn't exist. but, it would mean i'd have to get up at eight on sunday morning. so i'm not sure. it would be nice to have a day when i'd exercise in a studio rather than in the gym and it would be good for toning too. i'll think about it.

having found gym trousers that fit me yesterday, i needed to think of a different reward. i have no idea what i want yet. but we've decided that a reward for each mini goal would be £20. i think £20 is good. it's not a lot so we can afford it but it's not little either. and, if i want something more expensive i can save up reward money for it.
i'm not sure what i'd like. i would like a real treat, something i wouldn't normally buy. like, i don't want to buy shampoos or shower gels or moisturisers because i would normally get all this stuff. i've been thinking maybe a massage, i took a leaflet from the gym today. it is quite expensive though, a 30 minute back and shoulders massage costs £20 so that would be my first reward money gone and if i wanted to save up for a full body massage i would have to spend two lots of reward money. considering the first mini goal is 67 kg and the second is 65 kg, it will take me long enough to reach them. too long just to get one massage for both of them if you ask me!
i've been thinking that maybe i could save up all the reward money and buy myself a nice jewel in half a year but that kinda defeats the point of rewarding the mini goals.
anyway, it's not like i'm gonna reach the first mini goal tomorrow. i'll have enough time to think.

hoar cross hall?

i know i'm getting a bit ahead of myself but i've been thinking about going to a health spa for a day when i get to my target weight. to hoar cross hall spa. i've been there once before, when i won a spa day from kellogs (that was nice, thank you kellogs!). i weighed 63 kilos but i was pretty fit and i had a great time. it's a lovely place and i had full fitness profile and an hour with a personal trainer viv who was magnificent. i also went for a yoga class. it was very relaxing. i would like to have the full fitness profile done again once i've reached the target weight, it would be interesting to compare. however, it's not cheap. it would cost around £200 for the day. that is actually rather expensive. we'll see, i have over half a year to think about it. maybe when the time comes, i will prefer to buy nice skinny clothes instead or some luxurious organic cosmetics or something. i don't know! anyway, mark's agreed that i need new gym trousers and i will get a pair when i reach 67 kg. if i can find a pair i like that is.

hmmm, i've just realised that... i was 63 kg when i went to hoar cross... i'm 68 kg now (i know i blogged 68.5 kg yesterday, but mark weighed me today and i'm not supposed to know - i didn't look - but he told me i weighed 68). that's only 5 kg difference. maybe i'll wait for a couple months until i've lost 5 kilos and wear the gym clothes i wore then? perhaps they'd fit even earlier. i shall try them on now!
the bottoms fit perfect yay i'm pleased - they're size 10/12! i'm not gonna think i'm size 10/12 because i'm more like 12/14 but the fact that they fit does make me feel good. the top is too tight and my fat stomach shows so i'll wait for that one for a bit longer. yay that's good! i can choose a different reward now ;) i'm thinking a nice moisturising body lotion, like the loreal for dry skin, i'll just need to find out if it's vegetarian.

the gym workout was good today. i sweated more than in the past four days together which is weird because i was sitting. on a bike that is. it was really hard, i even considered i'd bike for a bit and then do something else but that would be bad news so i bit the bullet and biked for half an hour. i'm sure it will be easier next time. i think it's walk and crosstrainer again tomorrow. and no sit ups cause i did sit ups today.

foodwise it looked good today too - cereal with greek style yogurt for breakfast, rice pudding after the gym (a really good one, organic and meant for children so there's no shit in it, it's low calorie and low fat) and stuffed aubergine with potatoes for tea (i had to eat the other half cause it would go off otherwise).

i shall be back in the gym tomorrow morning!

huge aubergine

gym again today. not at ten in the morning though. at one pm. that's cause we woke up at half ten. i'm not complaining, it's saturday after all.
i started with walking for 30 minutes and then decided to go on rowing machine. actually, i'm lying. i decided i'd go on the rowing machine before i went to the gym, i took my rings off too. so anyway, i set the resistance to 5 (as recommended to me by a gym instructor ages ago), set 30 minutes and started rowing. god was that hard work! but i kept on going and rowed at a steady pace - 27/28 rpm. afterwards i looked as if i pissed myself. but i finally felt like i had a challenging workout. i don't even want to imagine where i will hurt tomorrow (i'm guessing arms, back of the legs and maybe back). i think i normally do cross trainer and recumbent bike because they're easy. i don't think i've ever rowed for 30 minutes solid. so tomorrow i might try 30 minutes on a normal bike, i don't like them very much because they're hard work but i guess that's the whole point of working out. it's not supposed to be easy.
the highlight of the session however was not that i was able to row for 30 minutes. it was the football on tv. not that i'm a football fan, but manchester city was playing and obviously david james plays for them so that made it interesting. i told mark afterwards that i thought football players should play topless since they get grabbed by their t-shirts all the time but he told me i was a pervert. ah well.

also, i weighed myself today. i asked permission first. i just wanted to know how much i weighed. and it was 68.5 kg. not lost anything but not gained anything either. not thrilled but not disappointed either. i only went to the gym three times so i guess i can't expect wonders. well it's not changed anything, i'm determined to succeed. if i go to the gym every day and eat well and still lose only 2 kilos before the surgery then it's 2 kg lost. i will look and feel much better and i will be way fitter. if i lose more, then great but i won't beat myself with a stick if i don't. as long as i keep doing all i can.

i've been very good with eating today too. i had cereal with greek style yogurt with honey for breakfast, baby food (apple puree) after the workout and a huge stuffed aubergine for well i guess it was tea. it was lovely but it was so big! it was only half an aubergine stuffed with mushrooms and onions, but i felt really stuffed after i ate it. i admit, we bought a bigger aubergine than normal, but it didn't look that big when we bought it. well... it was tasty anyway ;)

i've also decided that most days i will only eat the greek style yogurt once a day. i know it's the tastiest stuff on the planet but it just contains too much fat. 100g a day is ok, it's only 8g of fat. but if i continue having cereal + yogurt for breakfast and pineapple + yogurt for tea, it won't be ok, it will be 16g of fat. if i want fruit with yogurt, i'll have to have it for breakfast or have cereal with milk for breakfast instead. not a rocket science.

i desperately need new workout trousers. my old ones have been falling apart for a few months now and now they're tearing on my arse. maybe i could get them as a reward for reaching 67 kg?

yay gym!

i went to the gym this morning! again! on a bus! all by myself :D i got up at 8.15 am, packed, got the bus, walked to the gym from the bus stop, exercised, had a shower, walked to the trafford centre bus station, got on a bus, came home :) and enjoyed it all!
i did 30 minutes walking on the treadmill and then 30 minutes on the recumbent bike. my right knee hurt a bit yesterday, so i thought i'd give the crosstrainer a miss today. and it was a good idea! first few minutes on the bike were a bit difficult, but i got through that and biked away. gugu played good music today (he played vltava as well, i totally loved it and the timing was great too). the only problem i have with gugu is that he always makes me want to dance, and i obviously can't. i did 100 situps as well.

i'm itching to weigh myself but i won't. yesterday mark suggested i could weigh myself next week if i'm being really good this week but i refused. i want to see a big loss. although, it won't be so big next week as it will only be 2 weeks since i last weighed myself. but we'll see. i'm hoping to be 67.5 kilos. that would mean 1 kg in two weeks, i think it's doable. i also calculated that if i lose 0.5 kg a week every week, put on 1.5 kg in slovakia (cause obviously, implants weigh something), not lose anything for 5 weeks (cause i won't be allowed to exercise) but not gain anything either and then start losing 0.5 kg a week again, i should be at my target weight 55 kg (it used to be 54 but i will have implants so i have to compensate) at the end of november. i'll cut myself some slack and set the goal for christmas. that will give me almost a month extra. i can do it! i was actually quite surprised to see i only need to lose 13.5 kg. that doesn't look like a lot. people lose 13.5 kg all the time! i'm not saying it will be easy, but if i just continue doing what i'm doing (well, we're still to see whether it actually works, but i can't see it not working), exercising and eating well, then i should be at my target weight before christmas this year.

keep going!

69 days

it's 69 days until my operation. it's all very exciting, when i booked it it was 86 days to go. now it's only 69! goes quick! soon i'll be under the knife! exciting!

I'm keeping my promise to mark and i'm not weighing myself. i asked him to put the scales on a shelf that i can't reach so i won't be tempted to step on the scales. works so far. i just hope i'll get a really pleasant surprise when i eventually step on them (which will be in two weeks).

i went to the gym yesterday and we also went for a run. gym was ok, but i totally can't run at all! i just die after like 20 meters! well, i guess i should see it as something i can work on.
i went to the gym today too, by bus! the bus journey was ok, i stopped the bus, i got off at the right stop, and it takes only about 10 minutes to walk from the stop to the gym. not bad. gugu is the best invention ever, i just need to find out how you shuffle songs in a playlist. i had a shower there too, the water was a bit too hot. and my hair didn't look as if it just exploded after i blowdried it.
it's a nice time to go to the gym for ten o'clock as it's not too busy. i think i'll keep going at this time. this way, i can get up nice and early, make my way there and back, come home, read a book, study, watch tv or just veg out and spend all evening with mark. good plan!

i was meeting nicola after the gym, she was running half an hour late because she had to queue at a post office so i went to debenhams and bought a scarf... like a posh fabric one, not a knitted one. decided i needed one when i was walking to the gym as the coat i've got is quite open and my neck is always cold, but the weather is too warm to wear a knitted one. so i found a nice one in debenhams and it was even discounted. i also went to usc and tried on a top i saw yesterday but it looked awful when i put it on.
we went to tampopo for lunch. i had veggie dumplings (they were only small and it was only three of them) and a noodle soup with shitake mushrooms, aubergines, beansprouts and peppers. it was quite nice although it felt a bit strange to eat soup with chopsticks.

boobs, pacts, dogs and sick bags

i was in slovakia for two weeks. i ate as if i was never going to eat ever again and as if i never ate before. however, i walked a lot. we were taking care of barinko, my dog and he woke us up at about nine (eight english time) and he needed to be walked four times a day. i never walked him in the morning cause mark was lovely enough to go and walk him on his own. i also walked everywhere and i had stuff to do every day so i was a lot more active. all this resulted in me coming back to england the same weight as when i was leaving. i was surprised as i did expect at least 3 kilo gain. but thankfully, no gain.

i brought a cold with me too. the plane journey was painful, especially the landing in manchester. i felt as if there was a thousand needles sticking in my ears and every time i sneezed, yawned or godforbid blew my nose, two daggers stabbed the inside of my ears. after twenty minutes of this i felt so sick i grabbed a sick bag and was actually sick. it was so embarrassing. it was such a smooth landing as well. and i was sick right after the plane touched the tarmac. i've never been sick on a plane before.
i kinda recovered a bit after that, wasn't sick on the way home in the taxi. rested at home for a bit, went to tesco cause we had no food. no problems on the way there. on the way back however, i felt sick. mark couldn't stop the car cause we were just in the roadworks area on a motorway so i had to be sick out of the window while mark was still driving. i don't want to know what the poor guy in the car behind us must have been thinking!

while we were in slovakia, mark suggested i should only weigh myself every four weeks when we get back to england. and i agreed!!!! i was bad and weighed myself yesterday and it showed i've lost half a kilo since we came back (must be the illness, i was sick yesterday too) but i will really try not to weigh myself until the official day. the idea behind it is that i will have to eat well and exercise for quite a long period and that way i won't stop doing what i'm doing just because i've put on 0.2kg from one day to the next. and, i will see bigger loss than if i weighed myself every week. hopefully.

i'm really going to push the weight loss now because i'm having a boob job on 14th june. so i will try to lose as much weight as i can before then. by then my hair will have grown a bit too so i should look much better overall. so, my motives are clear. now i need to get over this cold/flu/whatever it is and then i can start exercising. i'm eating well already though :)