weight update

it was weigh in day yesterday and i forgot to update the blogger! doh!

the gain after the indulgence week is half a kilo. i'm not thrilled but it's not that bad! the important thing is that i was back to my good eating yesterday and so far today as well.

i can go back to the gym on tuesday. that is really exciting! i can't forget to charge gugu, my ipod. it also means i need to buy a sports bra. i wanted to get fitted in debenhams (selfridges don't seem to carry my size) but they started yet another sale today so it will be mega busy and i'll have to wait for ages to get fitted (last time it was about an hour and a half). i'll try to go there tomorrow morning, it shouldn't be so busy then.

in other news, i'm studying spanish like mad. i'm on unit 8 at the moment and it has shitloads of new words which i don't know (obviously). the course starts in a week and a half, so i really need to keep going if i don't want to look like a complete idiot.

also, we're going to see the goo goo dolls in september! i'm so excited!

indulgence week

yes, i've been eating like a pig. my excuse? it was my birthday. well bah! it will show on the scales tomorrow. for sure. but oh well, i had a nice time and it was nice to eat food without thinking 'can i? can't i?' not the most responsible attitude but hey it was only for a week. tomorrow is a start of a new week and i'll go back to my old 'good' ways.

i went to the cinema today to see the stormbreaker. i really liked it, it was all action and he is so fit (and he is sixteen before you lock me up)! it wasn't all scary action like in adult films which i normally hate cause i'm scared because i don't want anything bad happening to the characters in the film. i know it's silly but that's what i'm like. and, stephen fry was in it - i love stephen fry - and they used axio backpack - i've got one. the only thing it was missing was alan davies but i'm not quite sure what character could he play. anyway, i'll be getting it on dvd when it comes out :)

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11am muller corner - the chocolate digestives one
5.30pm 1sl nice bread with butter and salt
6.30 salted popcorn

tapas

i had my birthday meal today. we went to la tasca in the trafford centre. i had spinach and avocado salad and mushrooms. i also had a slice of garlic bread with cheese which was very very garlicy. i stole a few potatoes from mark's 'patatas bravas' dish. it was all very very nice. we didn't have anything sweet so i decided to melt some chocolate and have it with whipped cream. i put chocolate in the microwave and it burnt :/ i had a bit of frozen chocolate with whipped cream anyway but it wasn't really what i wanted.
anyway, today is the last day of eating shit. yes, it was my birthday week and i had cake and i was allowed to eat 'bad' food. but if i don't want to put on weight this week - which i really hope i won't - then i have two days to really watch what i eat. and keep it up the next week. and the week after the next.

fingers crossed the scales will be nice to me on wednesday!

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12pm muller corner - the chocolate digestives one
3.30pm 3sl nice bread with butter and tomatoes
7.45pm tapas: mushrooms in garlic, avocado and spinach salad, a few potatoes in spicy sauce
9pm some chocolate and whipped cream

orange juice

still tidying

i blogged a couple of days ago that mark was moving furniture for me so i could have a table for studying and scrapbooking. well, the furniture is moved but now 'we' are tidying the whole room. i say 'we' because it's really mark who's doing all the work. i sit here behind my computer on the bed and occasionally say 'keep' or 'don't keep'.
i can't deal with tidying. i can deal with a messy room and a tidy room but i can't deal with the inbetween state when you have to make more mess just to get things where you want them. i have a friend who loves tidying. every time she comes to visit me she insists on tidying my room. i don't get it.
apparently i used to get 'tidying fits' just before my period but since i've not had a period for over half a year it's up to mark to keep our room tidy. and he's doing a great job! well, not at the moment, at the moment it's messy. but i'm sure when he's finished with it, it will be just great.

now i've diverted your attention from all the things weightloss, i can make a confession and you won't even notice because you're still thinking about messy rooms. well, last night, i was really hungry. all i wanted was a slice of nice fresh bread with butter and salt and a tomato. we didn't have fresh bread, butter or tomato (we had salt though!). when mark came home from the band practice, i had a bit of cake (it's all gone now so no more anytime soon). then i needed something salty so i had salt and vinegar crisps. that still wasn't enough so i made some toast with cucumber. i was still hungry after that but decided it would be wiser to go to bed. so yeah, a mini binge. i need to remember to eat properly during the day. i'm not going to beat myself up - i was hungry so i ate. i could have made healthier choices but it was the first binge in almost three weeks of being exceptionaly good and i'm not planning to have another one anytime soon.

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12.30am cake, salt and vinegar crisps, 2x wholemeal toast with butter/sunflower oil spread, cucumber
12pm muller corner - the chocolate digestives one
3.30pm 85g spagetti, 2x babybell light, ketchup
11.15pm 2x wholemeal toast with spread, cucumber, 1sl supertoastie toast with spread
11.30pm handful of yogurt coated peanuts

cheese toasties

perhaps you've noticed that i've started eating cheese toasties recently. the reason being mark's started eating them. i mean, we've had them before but we've kinda rediscovered them again. they are very very nice and really, they are bread, cheese and butter so they're not high in calories or anything. but i've noticed one thing. before, i would have two cheese toasties simply because... well, there is a space for two of them in the sandwich maker. i would have two and wouldn't even think about whether i was hungry enough to have two. now, i only have one. i can always make another one if i'm still hungry after the first one but that hasn't happened yet. 'good on me!' even if i have to say so ;)

ten more days and i can go back to the gym. i'm kinda looking forward to it but not at the same time. i'm looking forward to being able to exercise again and to speed up the weight loss process. i'm not looking forward to 'having' to go to the gym, the showers (i hate showers, even more so when you don't know if they're going to be hot or cold), the getting up early, the sports bras. i'm also not looking forward to the first month of being back in the gym simply because i'll be quite limited in what i can do and i'll probably end up doing the same every day. i've also decided to stop going in the pool as i always come out with a rash. this is rather annoying as i enjoy swimming and i enjoy aqua aerobics. but oh well.

paulene's 12 week challenge finished this week and i've lost 3.5kg (4.5kg actually, but i 'put on' 1kg in implants) which is not too bad considering i couldn't exercise for about half of it and i did fall off the wagon for about three weeks too. she's going to start a new challenge in august. will i be able to lose some weight before the new challenge starts? i think so ;)

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1.30pm muller corner - the chocolate digestives one
5pm cheese toastie - 2sl white bread, 1sl cheese, butter
8pm 2 peaches
10.30pm a handful of dry roasted soya, 1 1/2 peaches

orange juice throughout the day

moving furniture

had a cake for breakfast today too ;) hey, it needs to be eaten! anyway, i'm not doing this again tomorrow. the cake's use by date is august the 3rd so there's still plenty of time - it can cover my next week's treats too! maybe i shouldn't be writing about the cake cause now i want some ;)

i've done some spanish today - two lessons to be precise. i need to cover at least one lesson a day. then i should be up to level 3 standard and won't embarrass myself when i start the course. i'm really looking forward to it. i'm wondering what teacher i'm gonna have. what should i wear for the first lesson? ;)

mark has decided i need a table. we have our piglets on the table so he's been moving furniture around and moving piglets and tidying so i can have the table. isn't that sweet? poor little thing, in this heat as well. i certainly don't envy him. it's great though, i'm looking forward to having a table. i'll also be able to scrapbook in my room then and won't have to take all the scrapbooking stuff downstairs every time i want to make something. so i'm quite excited!

on a more random note, don't you just fancy the singer out of all american rejects?

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11.30am cake
3.15pm muller corner - the chocolate digestives one
7pm 1/2 raspberry porridge with honey, one bite peach (over ripe), 3 vegetarian frankfurters, 2x wholemeal bread, mustard

orange juice throughout the day

birthday

it was weigh in day today, and a very good one! i weigh 63.5kg! how good? very :D i'm quite relieved i finally lost this week and i'm really happy it was such a big loss. it means i've lost 20 kilos. now, i know it says 19.9 on the ticker but that's because i had a digital scale then. if i had the one i have now, i would have started with 83.5kg, not 83.4. actually, i shall change the starting weight on the ticker. so, 20 kilos, that is actually quite a lot! and only 8.5kg to go! i know i can do it!

it was my birthday today too. i had a really nice day. i woke up early and had breakfast in bed. i decided to have cake for breakfast. i think it's a good idea because i did not have a meal and a treat but i had a treat for a meal. if that makes sense. then i got my presents. i got so many pretty things. mark gave me the printer and scanner i wanted, lots of scrapbooking stuff, paper trimmer, tool set, versace bright crystal in pink perfume, books and a cat charm for my charm bracelet - because i miss my cat. that is so thoughtful! so nice! i got a really nice purple orchid in a pot from mark's mom. i've always wanted an orchid (a white one though) but was always scared it would die on me. now i've got one so i have to take really good care of her. if it lasts for half a year, i'll buy a white one too.
we tried the printer, it prints really good quality pictures. mark was impressed. i knew it would be really good ;)
we went to the cervantes institute. everyone (well, the two people i spoke to) were really nice and the teacher who tested me has a slovak wife so we spoke spanish/english/slovak which was quite funny. i did not expect i'd have to talk spanish but i remembered quite a lot. well, a lot.. enough ;) i'm level three and the course starts in three weeks or so. exciting!
when we came home we started scanning everything. well, everything, my spanish book that i bought in waterstones today and pictures from when mark first came to slovakia. i already have some ideas for scrapbooks. i can't wait to scrap! i have so many new things!

a really nice day :)

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8am cake
5pm 100g spagetti, 2x babybell light, ketchup
8pm cheese toastie - 2sl white bread, 1sl cheese, butter
orange juice throughout the day

hot

it is so hot today! and it's supposed to be even hotter tomorrow! i went to town today to learn how to get to and from the cervantes institute. it's quite easy. i went to waterstones and bought a nice book - trudi canavan, black magician trilogy - signed and numbered special edition. it was very hot in town (have i mentioned it's hot hot hot today?) and mark claims i have a tan.

they had a sign up on the cervantes institute saying 'courses started soon, enrol now' so i checked out the start dates on their website and really, they're starting at the beginning of august. i'm going there tomorrow to take the test and enrol. i'm thinking about starting from beginners course, even if the test places me in the intermediate group, because i really don't remember much. i will see what they say tomorrow!

weigh in day tomorrow too!

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11.45am muller corner - the chocolate digestives one
4.15pm a peach
4.45pm a cheese toastie - 2 sl white bread, 1 sl cheese, butter

orange juice throughout the day

treats

i have a slight problem. or maybe it's a big problem. i don't know.

i'm allowed two treats per week. the thing is, i can't find anything i'd want for a treat. i would love something really really nice, something i can't normally eat, something divine but not too bad. every cake or chocolate bar i've seen.. they just don't cut it. if i'm desperate for a treat, i want to eat something i desire, not something 'sweet' which i don't even fancy. it's difficult. i won't have this problem next week because it's my birthday and i trust mark will buy me a divine cake. but i can't buy a divine cake every week, can i?

i have another problem. i can't find a balconette bra in my size. not one shop in the trafford centre has a balconette bra in 32f or 32e. it's ridiculous. what do other people wear? i'll have to order one online. the annoying bit is that i don't know which to order.. e or f? e is only good when the bra is generously cut. but how do i know?

weigh in day in two days!

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11am muller corner - the chocolate digestives one
2pm 2x wholemeal toast with butter/sunflower oil spread, cucumber
6.15pm strawberry kiwi smoothie
9pm 100g spagetti, 2x babybell light, ketchup, orange juice
10pm orange juice

new trousers!

we had a barbeque today and it was hot. the only clothes i've got for when it's hot are: long skirt, tank top, blouse. i didn't want to wear a skirt so off we went to the trafford centre to get some shorts. i've tried a few on in free spirit, i looked like a right fat arse in them. or, better, fat legs. then we went to selfridges and they had really nice trousers, not exactly shorts, but i wanted them longer anyway. white, cropped and flared at the bottom. ideal. i've tried on size 30 and size 32. now, i coudln't get size 30 on. 32 fits ok although it's a bit loose at the top. i don't mind, they're not supposed to be skin tight i don't think. they are really nice! although, they're 'firetrap' and mark says firetrap is a bit chav but they really are not chav at all so i don't care! there!

i behaved myself at the bbq. i had some quorn and salads (mayo, mind you, but really only a tiny bit, see more below), so i didn't stuff my face. i didn't resist a cake though, but it was only a tiny piece and it's my first treat of the week and there are only two days to go so i think i'm doing great.

wednesday's getting close!

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12.45pm chocolate porridge with 2 teaspoons of honey
4.15pm bbq: 2x quorn fillet, 1/2 quorn sausage, about 2 tablespoons of potato mayo salad, about 1 tablespoon of coleslaw, 2 bites of bread, slice of melon, mandarin cake with whipped cream (a small slice)
7pm orange juice
9pm muller corner - the chocolate digestives one

i just have to brag

mark had an acoustic gig last night (even though he played an electric, don't ask me how that works because i think that's cheating). one of his friends, who i last saw around september time last year, said to me 'you know, i'll never forget what you told me when i last saw you.' i didn't remember so he reminded me: "i said to you, 'diana, you look different' and you said 'because i am fat'" hahaha oh god that is so typical. then he did the whole thing 'i did not say you were fat', then admitted i was fat and that i looked like a lesbian (nothing against lesbians) which was quite amusing. but then he said that i was 'back to my georgeous self' and when i protested saying i needed to lose more weight and grow my hair he said 'no no, but you are attractive, you're fit. you want to grow your hair? you do that!' haha. bless him. well, anyway, just thought i'd brag ;)

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1.30pm 2x super toastie toast with butter/sunflower oil spread, cucumber
9pm chocolate porridge (only 117kcal), orange juice

jasper fforde. again.

no, i didn't go see jasper fforde again. but i've got some pictures because my lovely mark took some on his phone! how lucky am i?

this is what i look like from behind



and here, jasper is looking at me (!) while i'm (i think) telling him about my newest machine that laminates, makes stickers, labels and magnets. fascinating stuff!



i apologize for the shocking quality of the pictures but jasper was sat right in front of massive windows and even though it was about eight o'clock, it was still very bright outside. still, better than nothing!

i stepped on the scale this morning but i'm not going to tell you whether it was good or bad because i don't want to jinx it like the last time. all i'm saying is that i've been good.

note to self: don't buy irish soda bread ever again!

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11.15am one bite of brown irish soda bread (disgusting), 30g honey loops with skimmed milk
3pm muller corner - the chocolate digestives one, grapes
9pm fried rice with bamboo shoots
10.45pm another corner

quickutz.. a little guilty

mark let me use quickutz last night. i was in a mood to scrapbook. the quickutz are great, even though a little tricky (bloody little letters) but i love them. i spent ages putting the foam on the dies and the cutting the letters out and then started on the layout. i decided to make something similar to what i gave to nicola, it's a nice picture and, after all, i want us being witches documented as well! it has different ribbons and it has the word 'witches' written (well, stuck on) under the picture and i put different embellishments on. i stuck some colour buttons on and quickutz daisies. it looks quite nice i think. but now i'm feeling guilty - i used all the birthday stuff! (well, apart from the printer and the xyron machine). but mark gave me his permission so i guess it's not that bad. still, feeling guilty.

i stepped on the scales today and the bloody thing showed 64 kg and a tiny bit. bloody hell! i'm hoping that if i'm really good this week (as i was all last week, just to point out), i'll be 64 or maybe even 63.5 next wednesday. if i'm 65 again i'll be majorly pissed off!

good luck to me! ;)

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11.30am 30g honey loops with semi skimmed milk
6pm 100g spagetti, 2x babybell light, ketchup
9pm 1/2 small watermelon

four weeks

it's been four weeks since my surgery! one more week and i can wear any bra i want. i'm so looking forward to that!

well, weigh in today. a bit disappointing. 65kg. again! the thing is, two days ago i weighed 64kg. i didn't eat that much these past two days! honestly! look at the posts! i had the crumble, but, it was only a little pack and i'm allowed two treats so bah! i guess it's just water retention but i really hoped for a loss. so :(

having been to the jasper fforde talk and signing last night, i had a dream with jasper fforde, of course. we were on some ship and he was there with his wife - janet evanovich (he is not married to janet evanovich, i'm not sure he's married at all, but janet evanovich was mentioned last night and so made it into my dream) and i was totally jealous and tried everything to get him away from her. i was quite successful, i managed to go shopping for star trek memorabilia with him and also, someone stabbed me and jasper was stitching the wound up. honestly, i'm not on crack.

mark sent me (from his phone to mine) a picture he took a few days ago. it's a bit yellow (was taken in our bathroom, probably without the flash) but apart from that a nice picture. this is what i look like now. i definitely need to do something with those arms! can't wait to get back in the gym!



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12.15pm 2x toast with butter/sunflower oil spread, cucumber
6.30pm 100g spagetti, 2x babybell light, ketchup, orange juice
11pm orange juice

christmas and jasper fforde

it was like christmas this morning. first, my jim noir tshirt and angeles drake cd came. i ordered the t-shirt last friday and was really excited to get it. the cd was a surprise. i bought it on ebay a month ago and thought it was lost in post. so i was well happy to get it.
about a half an hour after they delivered the recorded delivery packages, the special delivery postman came. my scrapbooking order from onepurplecow. i love that shop because they have a great selection and prices and they give you a free gift with each order and they take time to pick something relevant to what you're ordering. i was ordering quickutz and they sent me quickutz cushion and a circle tag die. how exciting! obviously, i don't know anything about the scrapbooking box ;)

we went to the trafford centre after lunch because mark was getting a haircut. he goes to the same hairdressers as me but has a different hairdresser. he cuts really well as well, if chris ever goes on holiday or moves, i'll make andrew cut my hair. so mark has really nice hair now. for some reason, he looks a lot brighter.

we went to town in the evening to jasper fforde's talk and signing at waterstones. we went a bit early so we had time to go to paperchase and see what scrapbooking stuff they have there. they didn't have anything at all so we were finished earlier than we thought and went to kendals. they sprayed versace bright crystal in pink on me, smelled really nice. i managed to buy a nice bra - i needed a smooth one i could wear with tops - and it was even discounted, from £26 down to £13! bargain!
then it was time to go to waterstones. if you've never read jasper fforde you totally have to start. he's been one of my favourite authors for a while and i was really excited about the talk. and he definitely didn't disappoint. it was so so funny and interesting. and and, he's a stationery freak!!!! i'm a complete stationery freak! and then he was talking about a laminator! i'm obsessed with laminators! he told us a story about how apparently kate moss was doing a shoot in a deserted building and asked whether there was a toilet. they told her there was but it didn't have any door. to which she said 'how do i get in then?' :D

i really really really enjoyed today :)

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12.30pm 30g honey loops with semi skimmed milk
4pm muller corner as usual, grapes
9.30pm 2sl toast with butter/sunflower oil spread, cucumber, about 3 forkfulls of pasta with cheese

and i'll have orange juice at some point later

weird dreams

i had a weird dream last night. i was looking for my friend and couldn't find him anywhere. then i got on a bus and there was this woman who told me she was a cannibal and her daughter ate my friend! apparently it was easy because he lived in a tent (or a tp or something like that) and because she knew he didn't eat properly for the past 60 days. so he was an easy target. obviously i was upset and then started collecting things that were his and were on the bus? i was reallly upset that he was eaten. anyway, when i saw him last saturday he said he had some problems with his flat and was living with his landlord and when i hugged him he was really skinny (he's always been skinny) but he was carrying a big pastry. so i guess that was the base for the dream. ha ha. i'll have to tell him when i see him next.

in the next dream i was shopping for clothes and they had this really nice coat with 'france' written all over it (obviously, last night's football influence there). i picked one up and someone asked me what size i was - i said 34 (a euro 34 is like uk size 6) and they said 'no way you are 34!' (yeah, well i know that! no need to be mean!). anyway, i walked out with the size 34 coat without paying, then i came back and bought size 38 (uk size 10) in a different colour and got to pick a free baby t-shirt for my cousin's baby.

in another dream i went to visit my friend with whom i used to work in an internet cafe when i was at uni. but the internet cafe wasn't internet cafe anymore, it was a cake shop! so i had three big cakes. hm. then we went to the airport or something. and my granma and my parents were in it as well but i honestly can't say what they were doing (because i don't remember not because it was something weird).

so, that's what i dream of.

ooooh and i had this really vivid dream in which i had the canon lide 500f scanner and was scanning old photos and old films and was printing them on the epson papermate 500 printer and i really enjoyed doing it and then used the lovely photos for scrapbooking! haha ok, so that wasn't a dream but i'm sure i would enjoy myself (hint hint).

i had a peak at the scales this morning and it looks very promising. definitely should be good on wednesday! i'm eating really well i think. the 3 hour rule works wonders. also, i've not had any of my treats yet! can you believe that! it's almost the end of the 'week' and i haven't had the treats! well, i'm not going to have them just for the sake of having them. so maybe, if i'm not desperate for a treat today and tomorrow, i won't have any treats this week at all! how weird would that be? going from having a treat (or several) every day to having no treats for a week!

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11.45am 30g honey loops with semi skimmed milk, orange juice
2.45pm muller corner - the one with chocolate digestives
5.45pm 2xtoast with butter/sunflower oil spread, orange juice
9.30pm salad (no oil)
11pm apple crumble with whipped cream light, orange juice

post no. 100

100! exciting, isn't it?

i had a really nice day today. we went shopping to hobbycraft. they had some discounted stuff so i bought some metal word washers and loooots of ribbon. we also bought some storage boxes. then we went to tesco and staples and found the storage boxes half price. so it was back to hobbycraft. we also bought a machine that makes stickers, magnets and it laminates as well. it's really good for quickutz because you don't have to fuck about with glue then. (i've ordered quickutz on friday). we also went to maplins and bought some sealable bags.

when we came home i put my ribbons and embellishments into the sealable bags and then put all the scrapbooking stuff into the boxes. it all looks nice and neat now.

i officially don't know anything about the boxes, machine or quickutz. i will get them for my birthday ;)

we're also going to buy a portable photo printer, most likely epson papermate 500. it looks like it's good and in staples you get free bluetooth adapter too. which is great cause i hate cables.

obviously, i don't know anything about the printer either.

food was good today too and i guess the shopping was a bit of exercise ;)

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12.45pm 2x bread with butter and honey, orange juice
4.45pm muller corner - the chocolate digestives one, 5 lychees
8pm 4 veggie frankfurters, 1sl bread, mustard

and i think i'll have orange juice later

lovely food

we were talking about diets yesterday. nicola and i. she said her mom was on the special k diet, but didn't read the instruction and was eating a full bowl (90g) of cereal instead of the 30g you're supposed to eat and so didn't lose any weight. i said i wouldn't be able to do the special k diet.
i like my food. i can't really imagine eating one proper meal and two cereal meals a day (i was on the slimfast diet at one time, when i weighed about 57kg and i didn't really enjoy it. the good thing was that i had lots of time for shopping during my lunch break).
what i've noticed recently, i'm really making an effort to eat food i really enjoy. even if it means i have to cook for longer or making something else if i start eating something and don't enjoy it. like, today. i went to a polish bakery and bought potato dumplings. i was really looking forward to them because i assumed they'd be exactly the same as the slovak ones. well, they weren't. they tasted like onion. a horrible one too. so i took one bite and decided to eat something else. that was at half three. i finally ate at six o'clock. i'm not quite sure what i was doing in the time inbetween (i know i was on the phone to my parents for half an hour). i made lovely buttered potatoes (only a bit of unsalted butter), vegetarian haggis and cucumber salad in spirit vinegar. it was lovely and i still didn't eat the whole portion. so two good thing really :)
before, i used to eat anything. even if i didn't really like it, i'd still eat it because... well, i've started. now it's different. because i can only eat every three hours i tell myself that i might as well have something nice.

we also bought a loaf of lovely bread and i'm totally looking forward to eating that. maybe tomorrow morning?


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1am orange juice
12.30pm 30g special k with red berries with semi skimmed milk, orange juice
3.30pm orange juice and a tiny bite of a potato dumpling
6pm buttered potatoes, vegetarian haggis, cucumber salad in spirit vinegar
8pm orange juice

bra fitting

after three weeks of wearing this horrible post op bra i'm itching to try on/buy the nice stuff. so last night, i decided to put on my calvin klein bra that i bought ages ago (it's 32d), wash the post op bra and go to selfridges to get fitted. the woman i got was not very nice. first, she gave me a right bollocking for wearing an underwire bra that doesn't even fit me three days after the surgery. ok. piss off. it's like for two hours, it's not going to do me any harm. then she barked at me she thinks i'm 32dd or 32e. the bras i picked were beautiful white and frilly, and 34d. i tried one on - too small. she then brought me the most horrible bra i've ever seen. i tried it on, it fitted. it was a 32e. i was saved from buying it, however, because it was underwire and she was still going on about how i can't wear underwire for at least three months after the surgery. then she said i needed a sports bra. admittedly, i will need a sports bra for the gym so i let her bully me into trying some on. i tried on a nice dd but it was too small. i tried on an ugly 32f, it was too small. i left empty handed, but before i did she bitched at me for not having any dressing on - apparently it's weird. like, i'm 3 weeks post op, why should i have a dressing??? it's not like it's going to bleed. anyway, rant over.


being a 32e/f poses a slight problem, however. there are no shops that sell that size (apart from that one horrible bra in selfridges). if i was a 38e, there would be bras in the stores in that size. mark said i should put on weight. ha ha. joker. so i think i'll have to resort to ordering bras online. i found some that i liked last night. the only thing that bugs me is that i like to get fitted every time i buy a bra and this way it won't be possible. although i found a really nice balconette bra on ann summers website and i'm hoping they might have a 32e of that one in the shop too. i'll go have a look today perhaps. i'm not sure if they do fittings though.

i think the plan is working. there's no movement on the scales yet (well, it's only been two days after all) but i eat a lot less and better without being hungry (although i was a bit hungry when i went to bed at twelve o'clock last night, with my last meal being at six pm). we'll see what it's going to be like today cause i might be going out for lunch with nicola and to the cinema afterwards. will i be able to resist popcorn?

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yes, i resisted the popcorn. nicola had some and i didn't even steal one! i wasn't too impressed with the pirates. i liked the bit near the end where they fight each other. that was funny. but i hated those slimy creatures. afterwards, we went shopping. i bought the most beautiful bra ever in ann summers, it's here. really very nice. i bought 32f because it fitted me. i know!!! f!!!! when i picked it up i was like 'this is huge, no way this will fit me' but it did. mark was amazed when i showed him when i got home. yay! my first bra! they also do it in lilac. i'll probably get one of those too after i've worn this one for a few weeks because they really are beautiful.
nicola also brought the pottery we painted last week. it looks really nice! i'll post some pictures tomorrow.

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8am 2x wholemeal bread with butter and honey, orange juice
12.30pm 3 bites from an overly ripe nectarine, 55g cinnamon grahams with semi skimmed milk
6.15pm 2 veggie sausages, small tin of spagetti hoops

exercise

mark called the cervantes institute yesterday and yes, they still do the level tests. i don't have to book it, just call in at certain time monday to thursday. i'll do that sometime in august, i'll do some revision before then. they also do online courses and you have to do the level test before enrolling so i did the test yesterday and apparently i'm intermediate.

i went to the healthy living group today. it's a 25 minute walk each way and i walked! this is my first exercise since my boobjob. so i'm kinda proud.

i'm getting a bit hungry but i want to wait for mark. he's at work still poor thing. i think i'll have salad. i bought olives yesterday and i went to somerfield on the way home from the healthy living group and bought british lettuce and cherry tomatoes. so i think i'll have a very nice salad. yum!

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12.30pm 2x wholemeal toast, orange juice
6pm 3/4 plate of semolina, 2 bowls of salad (british round lettuce, cherry tomatoes, babybell cheese, olives, olive oil)

2x 25min walk (50 minutes)

it's a miracle

i stepped on the scales this morning and they gave me a nice number. a really nice number actually. 65 kg. i was rather surprised but who am i to argue. and, more to the point, why would i want to argue. i'm really glad actually because that means that i've maintained and am bang on the plan. and, with the new plan outlined yesterday, i'm going to lose. yes yes, lose. i'm confident.

i've been thinking about taking a spanish course. there is the cervantes institute in manchester and their prices are quite reasonable so i think i might give it a go. i'll have to call (or, make mark call as i hate phoning up people) and ask for details. when i went to their website ages ago, it said you need to sit an assessment test and they'll put you into a group depending on how well you do. i can't find it there now. it would be good for me to sit the test because i've done spanish before, but i've forgotten pretty much everything. the courses start in september though, so i'm planning to do some revision and then go for the test? if they still do the tests? that would be exciting!

right, i'm going to have a nice healthy breakfast now (i know it's kinda late for breakfast but i've only got up), probably wholemeal toast with cucumber. i shall update the blog in the evening and tell you what i've been eating all day.

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1pm 2x wholemeal toast, cucumber
6pm 1x wholemeal bread with mushroom pate (wasn't very nice) so i also had pasta with soft cheese, orange juice
9pm 11 olives

dirty little secret

sorry i've not posted for a while, i didn't realise i'd been away for so long! it's been so hot and my brain just stopped working. it's still hot now so if what i write doesn't make sense...

at the moment i'm obsessed with the all american rejects' song dirty little secret so i thought i'd steal the title for my post ;) i have to reveal something anyway (i do realise it won't be a secret afterwards). btw, if you want to buy me the album don't because i don't like any other songs by them (yes i mean you mark).

*let me know that i've done wrong when i've known it all along* - this is quite appropriate. the big deal is this:
i'm finding it hard at the moment. i'm not coping well with not being able to exercise. i'm eating a lot. i'm eating shit. there. the secret's out.
i don't know what it is that's wrong. one would think that it would be easier to eat well than eat well and exercise. after all, it's just one task. but no, it seems like i need to exercise to stay on track. there's a slight problem - i can't. for another 3.5 weeks. and after that i'll still have to take it easy.

i think it's time to make a plan. a plan that would stop me from putting on all the weight that i've lost. here is what i've come up with so far:

1/track everything. it's funny, but when i eat shit, i stop tracking. it is as if by not writing it down i didn't really eat it? anyway, i've bought a new notebook - molesking van gogh in purple - so i have no excuse really.

2/have at least 3 hours between each meal. snacks included.

3/stop eating 3 hours before bed, for example have my last meal at seven if i plan to go to bed at ten.

4/choose good food - fruit, vegetables, soups, wholemeal bread, pasta (try not to have bread and pasta for tea).

5/have 2 treats per week. 3 jaffa cakes/3 biscuits/small chocolate bar/2 rows of chocolate/small packet of crisps/ice cream - these all count for one treat.

6/one meal is one thing (apart from soup + main meal). don't eat spagetti + yogurt + fruit in one meal.

well that's all i can think of at the moment. if you have suggestions, let me know :) these rules will be implemented from tomorrow (wednesday = weigh in day = start of a new week). i know i've started fresh on wednesdays before but i'm hoping this time it will work. wish me luck!

oh, and don't be surprised if the weigh in tomorrow shows i've put on weight. i know i won't be!