less than 60 kg? tick!

that's right! i weigh 59.9 kg! i'm so so so happy. here's the chart. it looks a bit rocky the last few weeks, going up and down, but the important thing is that it's going down overall.



i'm going out for chinese tonight so i will fuck it up straight away but the goal was to be under 60 kg at my last weigh in before christmas and that's what i've done. so yay! i still have a long way to go and with christmas coming, it will be a bit more difficult. but i'm determined not to gain much during the festive period. i still need to put my exercise programme on my pda. i'm going to weigh myself on my parents' scales when i get there and will keep weighing myself to see how my weight's doing.

we're going tomorrow and i probably won't have a chance to blog for a while (although i will try and pen a line if i ever get to a computer with internet access) so i would like to wish you all lovely christmas and the best new year ever. to you who are losing weight, good luck! you can do it! if you've been thinking about joining a gym, january is the time to do it as many gyms have special offers on and don't charge the joining fee. but obviously, i would check that, don't take my word on it.

have a good time!

new hair

i had my hair appointment today and it was fabulous. the man's a genius. here's the result



if you compare it to yesterday's hair




i also picked up my allergy test results. i am allergic to shitloads of things: citrus fruits, grapes, corn sugar, lactose, milk protein, cabbage, lentils, parsley, tea, coffe, pop drinks, all alcohol apart from spirits and liquors, some e numbers, acesulfame... i'm completely fucked. i eat cheese and i eat yogurts. but, i can replace the cheese with goats cheese and yogurts with soy yogurts. i'm pissed off about the fruit and lentils though. i'm also iron, vitamin b-complex and folic acid deficient which is pretty much all the vegetarian stuff. need to start taking veggie supplement!
maybe when i eliminate all the stuff, i'll lose weight faster.

i can do science me!

you know how i quit uni and signed up for an open university course instead? well, i sent off a chemistry assignment a couple of weeks before then. it was all equations and phase diagrams, all practical stuff. no essays - how do you write an essay on chemistry anyway? it came back marked today. guess what the score was? no, you have to guess, seriously. have you guessed yet? i got 100%! i'm going to keep that piece of paper as evidence that i can do chemistry. i can do science me!

ok, i just wanted to brag ;) i shall update later when i come home from the tango thingy.

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tango update. we didn't fuck up. people seemed to like. and i'm really sorry, but the pictures are really blurry.

not a frog yet

i've been really good as promised. no chocolate, no crisps, no pretzels, no haribo. and i walked for three hours yesterday! first, i went shopping for a dress for friday's tango demo. i tried on nine (9!) dresses and ended up buying two. a black posh dress and a red wrap dress. the strange thing was that most of the size 12 dresses were too big on me. the black posh dress is a size 12 and fits great. the red dress is a size 8 and also fits great. i don't get it.

after i came home from town, i had a quorn cottage pie and was arsing around on the computer. i called my mom. i wanted to wrap presents but i have no idea where the wrapping paper is. so at ten o'clock i decided to go to the trafford centre. i bought a present for mark, a pen for myself and tights for friday. ones with a black seam, how cool is that? i wanted to shop some more but they close at eleven. i'm a nightmare customer!

only three more days and we're off to slovakia. i can't wait. and i have something planned for each one of the three days which is good. tomorrow i have the tango demo - mark will take pictures so i'll show you if it's not too embarrassing, on saturday i'm going to have my hair cut - finally! thank god! i can't wait! - and on sunday we're going out for a meal with mark's parents and we're unwrapping presents. can't wait for that either. we'll have to pack at some point too.

what are we doing today? more shopping!

hat and dress shopping

instituto cervantes has a christmas party this friday. that's where i used to go to my spanish and where i go for my tango classes. they want us to dance. of course, everyone refused to do it, myself included. but last week, my favourite dancing partner asked me if i would dance with her so i agreed. this week she had an idea that she'll go in a suit and a hat and i'll go in a red dress! when i protested i couldn't possibly wear a dress because i'm fat, everyone looked at me like 'wtf are you talking about?' and my teacher said that yes, i should wear a dress and i should wear a dress with horizontal stripes. ha ha. that was quite funny actually. so we're going shopping today as she doesn't have a hat and i don't have a dress. i'm wondering whether we'll find something as i usually can't get a dress over my boobs.

dietwise, i've completely lost it. i eat crap from morning til evening. i want to stop and eat like a normal person but i don't seem to be able to. mark is getting really cross with me over it. at least i'm doing some exercise though - i danced for two hours yesterday and i walked around the trafford centre for two hours the day before. i think i need some radical solution. i have an idea. i will promise to you all who come and read me that i won't have any treats until sunday! sunday is my weigh in day and it will be a christmas day for me and mark as we've decided we're not going to take presents to slovakia and back. we'll go out for a meal - probably to our favourite chinese restaurant - and we'll open the presents.


i promise i will be good until sunday. i will eat healthy food and i'll stay away from all treats, even the advent calendar. if i fuck up, i'll turn into a frog!


ha! there you have it. being good starts now! (after the crisps... no no, i'm only joking)

oh no

london completely sabotaged my weight loss. we went to this pizza place we knew from three years ago. it was fabulous then, it was fabulous now. we shared one portion of garlic bread and i opted for tomato and mozzarela salad with dough balls. i had a tiny piece of mark's pizza as well, just to taste. the dough balls were fantastic. but i'm sure very pointy as well. however, i was not concerned, after all, i've just been walking for two and half hours and i was going to walk for another three hours afterwards. then on the train i realised it didn't work. i drank almost half a litre of water and didn't need to pee for the whole journey. this was just as well because the toilets on the train were broken. i came home, stepped on the scales and it was bad. so i decided to have chinese there and then, because that would give me 8 'good' days instead of 7 if i had the chinese on my weigh in day. i ate about a quarter.

i considered not weighing myself today and pretend i've stayed the same. but that would be rather shitty. so i faced the music, stepped on the scales and .... i weigh 61.4 kg. meaning i put on 0.7 kg. balls. however, the good thing about my scales is they show water percentage, fat percentage and muscle weight. and, i decreased my body fat percentage by 0.9% since last week, my water percentage went up by 0.7% and i put on 1 kg of muscle. so, i can see it's water and that i've actually lost fat. i'm still upset that i've not lost, because now the goal of under 60 kg before christmas looks so distant. i will be really good this week and see what happens, maybe i'll lose all the water and all the weight too!

wish me luck :)

not a student

about a week ago, i blogged about feeling shit. everything was shit and i was stressed out. i had my meds increased. (mark takes the piss out of me for saying 'meds', apparently it's so emo) a few days ago, i decided to quit uni. all the studying, travelling and thinking of travelling and going to the field trip had a negative impact on my health and i wasn't happy. it was a hard decision, i felt i'd be letting people down. but i talked it through with my therapist, mark and my mom and decided it would be best if i called it a day.
however, i didn't want to stop studying completely - i just needed something calmer, non stressful, with no exam. i chose a creative writing course at the open university. there is no exam, i just need to write a lot.
i studied with the open university in 2004, i did a course on art history. i was working full time then and i managed to get a pass 2. i've always wanted to take a creative writing course but was a bit apprehensive about my abilities to write in english. but, if i'm really shit, i can only improve, right?
so i'm not a student at the moment, but i shall become one again in february. it's really nice to know that i can just relax now.

dietwise, i'm not sure what's happening. i'm not hungry most of the time, but i want crisps and i want chocolate. so i have some. and then some more. for example, yesterday. i ate 15.5 points. out of them, only 2 points were proper food (cereal + milk). all the rest was chocolate and crisps. that's ridiculous! i have to change that.

i need to buy a cooling bag for when we go to slovakia. i want to take quorn and vegetarian frankfurters and stuff like that. i remember they used to sell the bags in marks & spencer but i'm not sure whether they still do. i guess the best thing to do would be go and have a look!

i have bought a few presents for mark. some online, some in the shops. we're going to london tomorrow (it was supposed to be a school day and i've already bought the train tickets but as i don't go to school anymore we're going shopping instead). i'm looking forward to it cause i haven't been to london, you know, properly, since i think 2003 when we went to see silverchair and stayed for three days (silverchair were shit - such a shame - but london was good). i might go to rigby and peller to buy a bra and i want to go to liberty cause nicola said it was a fabuous shop. hopefully we won't spend too much money!

have a good weekend!

thursday

it's thursday again and i have only two full days to go before next weigh in. i'm not quite sure what it's going to be. i'm hoping for a loss, of course. but, i have to confess i went a bit crazy yesterday and went 7 points over my allowance! i hadn't realise until this morning when i was pointing it. well, i knew i went over, but i thought it was 3 points max. i had enough points saved but i really don't like eating saved points. so i'm a bit annoyed with myself. the plan is to eat 15 points for a couple of days. that should do it. or, so i hope anyway.

we went shopping last night and it was the most unhealthy shopping trolley if i ever saw one. coke was on offer and mark drinks a lot of it so we bought fifteen (15!) 2 litre bottles. we also bought some vegetarian chocolate christmas tree decorations and chocolate coins for when we go to slovakia. we also bought orange juice though!

i'm going to have my hair in a week and a bit and i'm so looking forward to it. i haven't had it cut since august and i'm quite desperate. i look like i'm growing a mullet. but that's all going to change!

ouch!

last night, i had the most horrible dream ever. i was going somewhere with a guy from the bookshop i used to work in and two girls. one of the girls gave me a dress and it was really nice, so i wore it. we got out of the building and i realised my legs were all hairy (which they are now)! i asked dave to go back back he said we didn't have time! so i had to go to wherever we were going with hairy legs! seriously, a nightmare. but the dress was nice ;)

as i predicted yesterday, i am sore today. but it's not my legs as i thought it would be. no. it's my arse. this is a good thing and a bad thing. good thing because i have obviously worked my bum and bad thing because it makes it rather difficult to move. my legs hurt a bit as well and so do my shoulders. well, not shoulders, the bit that connects arms to shoulders. like, the bit right next to the armpits.

the good news for today is that my back is ok. i went for my physio today and they've discharged me. it still hurt when my back was being pushed but nowhere near as much as before. and it still hurts when i bend in a certain way but it's much much better.

it's the tango day today and i'm looking forward to it, wondering what we're going to learn this time. only two more classes to go. there will be a new 'intermediate' tango course starting in january and i think i'll go to that one too. it's quite fun and it earns me four bonus points every time i go.

i still don't know what to get mark for christmas. so annyoing! if anyone's got an idea, let me know!

gym? gym!

i've been thinking about going to the gym the last few days and when mark came home for lunch today i just thought 'let's go!' so i got dressed, took gugu - my ipod, thankfully he was still half charged - a bottle of water and off i went. mark drove me there and we arranged that he'll pick me up in about two hours when he's finished work. i did half of my programme plus cardio and it wasn't too bad. the lunges were a bit of a pain but i've managed to do them all. i'm glad i went. my legs will hurt tomorrow.

my mom told me yesterday they have moved my exercise bike to our country house where we'll be staying so i have no excuse now. i have also asked her to bring her yoga mat there and i'm assuming my dumbells will be there as well. i can do quite a lot of the programme tim's made for me with just that. i really want to stay the same weight during christmas (or lose!) so i will really try and do everything right.

only two weeks to go until christmas and mark still hasn't decided what big present he wants. i've bought two presents for him online today, i hope he'll like them both. i'm sure he'll like one of them, i'm not so sure about the other one! i am terrible at keeping secrets and i always want christmas to come earlier so i don't have to keep the secret anymore and so i can see whether he likes the presents or not. i hate hate hate waiting.

damage undone!

weigh in day today! i stepped on the scales and they revealed i've lost 1.4 kg this week and now weigh 60.7 kg. so i've lost all i gained last week and a teeny tiny bit more. yay! i'm pleased with that. now i have 2 weeks to lose 0.8 kg (at least). that doesn't sound like a lot but you all remember last week's fuck up. so i need to really keep it together now. i also measured myself. here are the results. the measurements in the brackets are from week 4, we're on week 10 now.

waist: 72 cm (74 cm)
belly button: 81 cm (84 cm)
bum: 98 cm (100 cm)
arm: 29 cm (28 cm) wtf?
calf: 39 cm (41 cm)
thigh: 57 cm (58.5 cm)

so not bad apart from the arm. i'm not quite sure what's going on there.

i'm going to do my weekly shop later today and i'm really motivated to buy all the right stuff. i want to buy beens, lentils and tomato-basil sauce so i can make the veggie cassoulet i normally buy from m&s. i also have to remember to buy bateries for my kitchen scale.

it's the start of a new week and i'm not going to fuck up this one!

bonus points

i managed to do exercise every day this week. walking and tango. nothing really strenuous, but i've clocked up 17 bonus points! yesterday, i went a point over my allowance (i forgot i had a yogurt) and instead of shrugging my shoulders and saying 'oh well' i actually kicked my arse in gear and went to the trafford centre to look for christmas presents. i walked for almost two hours but didn't buy much. i went to the chinese shop to be tested for allergies. they cut a bit of my hair and i'll collect the results in about two weeks. i'm rather curious!

it's weigh in day tomorrow and i'm wondering how much i've lost. i've been good although i went over points twice and have been eating 20 points rather than 18 until yesterday when i did the points quiz and found out i should eat 18. so we'll see. i'll also measure myself cause i haven't done so for a while. i hope i'll have something good to report tomorrow!

cyrano de bergerac

if you are in manchester any time before mid january, go see it. it's at the royal exchange theatre and it's absolutely fabulous. i've never been to royal exchange before and i have to say, it's a great theatre. we had really good seats and it's quite a small place anyway, so you can see every expression on the actors' faces and the actors interact with the audience a lot. i loved their costumes and there were quite a few famous people in it. it's funny but sad too and a lot of people were crying by the end of it. it was brilliant!

the weightwatchers website has changed. i've done the 'points quiz' and found out i am supposed to eat 2 points less! balls! not balls because i don't want to eat less but balls because maybe i was supposed to eat 18 points rather than 20 three weeks ago already! oh well, i'll adjust my food intake and see if it makes me lose more!

the batteries in my kitchen scales died yesterday. so i can't weigh anything! this is incredibly annoying because i have to guess how much cheese am i allowed to put on my salad and i'm scared of putting more on. also, i can't weigh my haribo so i can't have any! we'll try to buy the batteries tomorrow, hopefully they'll have them somewhere.

it's qi day today and i'm so looking forward to watching it again! fridays make my week! ;)