chinese and kashi

so we went to pond quay, my favourite chinese restaurant last night. i had what i always have: vegetarian noodle soup, rainbow vegetable fried rice and stir fried broccoli and shitake mushrooms. i ate about half of the fried rice and about a quarter of the stir fry. it was really really nice but i was feeling satisfied and if i continued eating i'd feel sick. i wanted a dessert though and the desserts in the restaurant don't say if they're vegetarian or not so we drove to asda and bought profiterole pyramid. we came home and i polished the whole thing - 10 pieces. it was really nice though ;) i think it's what i needed and i'm kinda proud that i stopped myself eating when i'd had enough in the restaurant. not so proud about eating the whole cake - this needs perfecting a bit. now the hard part will be resuming being good.

i had kashi for breakfast today, the honey variety. it's a really really lovely cereal and it's new on the uk market. now i finally know what all the american ladies are on about! i went out in the afternoon and just as i was coming home mark rang up to tell me that he's on his way home too. so i decided to wait for him and eat when he comes home. we finally ate at about half six and i was hungry again soon after. i wanted pizza and i wanted bread. i was starting to make up excuses - 'i've not had a slice of bread for 18 days, that did kickstart my weight loss and i can eat it again now' - and mark even suggested i have a slice of his bread. but i resisted and had a bowl of kashi. not ideal, eating at ten o'clock at night but i really was hungry. there really isn't a point in starving oneself, it would just make me ravenous and it would ended up with me not caring what i put in my mouth and eating shit.

i just wish it would get easier. the scales going up after yesterday's chinese isn't very motivating either. i know it's just water as i'm not used to eating so much salt but i want the scales to go downwards not upwards!

but i want to lose weight and i will lose weight!