a diamond ring

i fucked up. my lovely chinese meal turned into a five day long binge. i had crisps, tuc crackers, chocolate spread, pancakes, pizza, garlic bread... i don't even want to see the scales tomorrow. but i will, of course.

so we talked with mark for a bit, i expressed my dissatisfaction with the weight coming off so slowly when i'm really being good, he said it pisses him off that i do so well for two or three weeks and then fuck up really bad. i suggested i only drink orange juice from now on - i like orange juice and it would make me lose weight quick. mark didn't like the idea. so in the end, we devised a new system (new to us, not like new ever) of classifying foods.
there are three categories - green, orange, red and they work like the traffic lights. green foods are vegetables, fruit, juices and i can have as many as i like. orange foods are for example bread, pasta, breakfast cereal, nuts, seeds etc. and these are also important but shouldn't be eaten 5 times a day. the red foods are foods like crisps, chocolate, biscuits, cake, chinese, pizza and so on and i need to think twice before i eat them. i'm not restricting myself by numbers of portions of foods i can eat a day. i want to train myself into thinking - this is good, go ahead, eat it! or do you really want this, you've had a red food yesterday.

then i decided i wanted a diamond ring. i've never had a diamond ring ever. to mark's relief, i don't like big diamonds, i think they look cheap even though i know they're not. like, majority of dolce and gabana stuff. so we made a deal - if i manage to be good until the end of september starting today, i'll get a diamond ring. not an expensive one, but a diamond ring nonetheless. i think the best course of action for me would be to find a ring that i really like, so that i have it in my head when i want to give up.

weigh in day tomorrow - i so don't want it to happen.