need.to.eat.well.

argh! i had crisps and chocolate yesterday! only a small packet of crisps (mccoys, mind you) and only a row of chocolate, but crisps and chocolate nonetheless. both, in a single day!
and it wasn't like i was craving salty or sweet - i had veggie sausages and spagetti hoops for tea and a crunch corner yogurt later on. i had the crisps because we had a family bag of mccoys at home, with at least one bag of salt & vinegar flavour crisps. this doesn't happen very often, if we have them, mark polishes off the salt and vinegar ones while i'm trying to stay away from them and when i really really desperately need them they're all gone. so i was trying to prevent that. i know it's stupid because now i'm polishing them off and when the time comes and i'll really really need them they'll be gone. perhaps i should have analysed it before i stuffed them in my mouth. chocolate was pretty much the same reason. i decided i wanted chocolate. if we didn't have any, it would have been ok. i didn't desperately need chocolate. but i knew we had some. so grrrrr.

also, mark questions me every time i want to have a treat like that. he says 'can you have this?' and i say 'of course, i can have some' which is not entirely true. yes, i can have a treat. but i remember weeks when i was allowed only one treat - this didn't quite work, i wanted chocolate all the time, and weeks when i was allowed two treats - this worked perfectly. perhaps i should implement that rule again. tomorrow is the weigh in day and so the start of a 'new week'. i can start with the rule then.

i definitely need to be more strict with myself. i'll try to eat better today and i'll commit fully tomorrow. i will i will i will. if i could eat well before, i can eat well now. i have a choice, i'm lucky enough to choose what i want to eat and i will make a good choice. yes, indeed.